a new home

notice the blankness of my blog template.

no, it's not just for kicks or a sudden hate for color. it's because i'm updating my geocities website and i'm incorporating my blog there. so far, all i have is the main page with the blog in it. soon (i hope), i'll create a flash website to back it up.

for now, here it is:

...and if anyone knows how to make the background of a website opaque, please please please teach me how. mitzi said she's finding it a bid hard to read my blog on the bottlecaps page.

the return of the bruce

many of you know and love my laptop, Bruce Patotot.

last night, in a very unfortunate accident, i spilled water on Bruce. Bruce was injured, and i feared that he would not survive the night. i immediately administered first aid in the form of massive amounts of tissue to mop up the relatively huge amount of water that was spilled. it occured to me only five minutes after the accident to turn bruce upside down so as to let gravity do its job and let the water out.

suddenly, i see a discoloration on the screen. at this point, i still have not shut Bruce down. it is a water stain. on the LCD screen. and it is TRAPPED UNDER THE PLASTIC COVERING WHICH I HAVE NOT REMOVED. panicking, i frantically remove the tape and the plastic, managing a few hard pokes at the already damaged screen. it was too late: the screen was already dry to the touch, and there was a stain of discoloration (which, fortunately were just shades and not actual different colors).

with the help of tissue, cotton balls and cotton buds, i started a delicate procedure in a desperate attempt to remove water before there was any more damage. i shut Bruce down and try to pry up the keys of the keyboard. alas, i was only able to partially lift the enter key, and no more. so what i did was to tilt Bruce to one side and proceed to mop up the water trickling down (oh, gawd) with cotton buds and tissue. not content, i unscrewed what i could in the processor and fan area, as well as the battery. to my horror, i found remains of water there. however, i did not have enough courage to dismantle bruce completely to hunt out any other water puddles.

i tried to sleep, and after an hour and a half of trying, i was finally able to. and when i woke up the next morning, i was glad to find that classes were suspended. i did not check on bruce, afraid of what i will find.

in the afternoon, i finally got up enough guts to open bruce up. i was horrified to find that there was moisture on the keyboards. following mitzi's advice, i broke out the hairdryer and started drying.

i tried to turn Bruce on. after a couple of tries of nothing showing up on the screen (but at least i got my friends DVD out), the welcome screen came up. to my horror, i was not able to move the touchpad (although the USB mouse worked fine) or type anything on the keyboard.

however, i kept drying and i kept trying, at various intervals throughout the day. and i found that with each effort, Bruce was recuperating. no files were lost, and some letters stuck together when i typed, such as the T's, V's, and O's.

but hard work does pay off, and with a few dozen more tries on the keyboard, Bruce was getting the letters right.

what you see here was typed on Bruce's keyboard. sometimes, the equals button would stick, but then it starts to stick less and less. i could've used another computer to type this, but i used Bruce because i could. i believe.

Bruce still retains his battlescar from that incident on his LCD screen. the stain has not yet been removed. he will have a check up once the storm lets up and i can get to greenhills.

welcome back, Bruce.

i promise to take better care of you. especially since you are the sole keeper (were, actually, since i learned my lesson) of my thesis project and my flash projects.

taskeen's prayer

Disturb us, O Lord
when we are too well-pleased with ourselves;
when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little
when we have arrived in safety because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, O Lord
when with the abundance of things we possess we have lsot our thirst for the water of Life;
when, having fallen in love with time, we have ceased to dream of Eternity;
and in our efforts to build the new earth have allowede our vision for the New Heaven to grow dim.
Stir us, O Lord
to dare more boldy
to venture on wider seas
where storms shall show Thy mastery
where losing sight of land
we shall find the stars
In the Name of Him who pushed back the horizons of our homes and invited the brave to follow Him,
Amen.

**********

i am so blown away. this is beautiful. i want this to be my mantra. maybe i should post it on my wall?

"i dare."

i want to be able to say that, and know that it's true.

i dare to pursue my dreams, but what are my dreams?

i have many dreams, sure, but i think i have to choose only two or three that really matter.

i just hope i'm brave enough to do them. i'm scared of failure, and that's probably why i haven't really dared to try. so that if i fail, i can say "well, it's not like i was really trying." and that is bad. that is cowardly. and that was me.

and i hope i say "was" truthfully. i don't want to be like that anymore. if i don't try, then let it be for the right reasons, like not being really interested. except that sometimes, it's hard to catch myself.

argh. please let me not be daunted by my fears. and go for the perfect try. please let me not be all talk.

tag!!! TAG!!!

yay! i'm so proud of myself. haha. i know it's a small thing for all you flash geniuses out there, but hey, i'm proud anyway.

i made my own version of a tagboard in flash!!! WOOHOO!!! as of now, wala pang separation yung name and yung message, so it all just lumps together. tapos, i'm not sure that if you nav away from the page if the messages in the output box will be preserved. anyhoo, i'll worry about that later. it's not like this is a required project or anything. i was just curious if it could be done.




just click the red dot to tag. sorry maliit yung labas nya. haha.

pollution & transportation

there is so much traffic nowadays and so many vehicles that have turned smoke belching into an art that breathing a lungful of air in EDSA (as many, many people do) could shorten your life by ... well, let's just say a lot.

really, it can be solved if we had a decent transportation system. one that wouldn't require us to put our lives in peril everytime we got on board. the LRT and MRT lines now are actually a big step, and i think it's great. traffic is actually not as bad as it used to be! now, if only jeeps and buses could be repaired and ORGANIZED, and the drivers become better drivers who follow the rules.

my philo teacher, Dr. Barbaza, told us that if he were ever to become head of the MMDA, the first thing he would do would be to revoke all the licenses of all the drivers in the country and then require them to pass a REAL, international standard drivers' test before he gave them back their licenses.

a very idealistic notion, and very good. it will, however, probably cause a revolution in the streets.

but imagine! a Philippines where people will not be afraid to take public transportation, where people don't have to breathe and then later die horrible deaths!

ok, i could go on and on, but i gotta do my thesis now.

hmmm...

37-56. so less than 20 points. barely.

still, i guess la salle couldn't maintain, with the energy they put in in the first half.

anyway, i'm coming to terms with the loss. although the horrible memory of the 1st half (which, if i were for la salle, i would be so proud of), will stay with me.

please, please, please. *sigh*

the pain subsides ... a little

score is 27-51. you'd think that's bad, but actually, it's a lot better than what was up kanina.

now it's 32-51!!! YAY!!!

anyway, tenorio gave a pretty big foul kanina. tenorio still hasn't score, i think, but he's been giving great assists, nonetheless. yay.

yay.

things are kinda heating up. there's a lot of friction between the two teams. oooooooh.

next post at the end of the third quarter? or maybe the end of the game na lang.

and the pain continues

the end of the 1st half. 15-44.

oh my gawd. i didn't think it would be this bad. i mean, it's ok naman to lose, but ... damn ... NOT THIS BAD!!! NOT THIS WAY!!!

ow. am i missing something here?

15-44.

how we'll ever come back from this loss, i don't know. sana if we lose, we lose ... by less than 20 points.

believe? ah ewan.

sana, when the game ends, masasabi ko sa sarili ko: "oh ye of little faith."

sana.

pain

pain. PAIN. definition: a score of 15-39. and the game ain't even over yet. OUCH.

oh man. oh man. that cardona... he's a killer. omg. nothing is connecting. this is PAINFUL.


... painful.

vingt

i. am. twenty. beinte. vingt. two decades old.

and i am posting this after three hours of being twenty. heehee. it doesn't feel much different from being 19. but i guess it's really not a numbers game. you grow when you grow, whatever age you are. experiences, not birthdays, are what age you.

i cannot gauge myself. but happy birthday, me! and good luck! twenty. smile.

a new blogspace

ok, initially i said that i wouldn't tell people yet about a new blogspace until i knew what happens after the 30-day trial period (day 1 being today). but it's really, really cool!!! i mean, seriously, it's so... EVERYTHING!!! although editing the template looks a bit tricky. *bleah* but so far, that's the only drawback that i've tried.

hmm... maybe i should try writing an article about the blogging lifestyle and blog spaces. i wonder if that's been done before. can anyone tell me?

the hidden mickey

i used to LOVE finding the hidden mickey, but lately, they've been getting so desperate! take for example a bunch of grapes: that's NOT a hidden mickey! that's a bunch of circles!!!

reflections, reflections.

you can see whatever you want to see; you can interpret anything and everything in any way that serves your purpose. signs and symbols come from YOU, and your interpretation of them. a colon followed by a closing parenthesis is a smile. but you can say it's just a colon and a closing parenthesis.

i've got nothing against people who have to look for signs before they do something. if that's what they need to do what they have to do, then good for them, right? just don't over do it. besides, what they see is only what they want to see, so it serves their particular purpose.

find the hidden mickey.

i sound so ... wonkey today.
question: what do i say on a reaction paper on Insiang? do i have to connect it with history???

kurosawa, ithaca, and robert

a couple of weeks ago, i had a very sabog blog about kurosawa. i think it's about time i posted what i really thought.

i've always been an advocate of the school of thought that says that you should enjoy every moment; live each moment as if it were THE moment, and not just a stretch of time before you get to the next moment. in the end, you'll have lived your life without regrets. unfortunately, i don't always practice what i preach.

in highschool, we read this poem called "Ithaca," by Constantine Cavey. Here's how it goes:

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,

pray that the road is long,

full of adventure, full of knowledge.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:

You will never find such as these on your path,

if your thoughts remain lofty,

if a fine emotion touches your spirit and your body.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,

if you do not carry them within your soul,

if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.

That the summer mornings are many, when,

with such pleasure, with such joy

you will enter ports seen for the first time;

stop at Phoenician markets,

and purchase fine merchandise,

mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

and sensual perfumes of all kinds,

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

visit many Egyptian cities,

to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.

To arrive there is your ultimate goal.

But do not hurry the voyage at all.

It is better to let it last for many years;

and to anchor at the island when you are old,

rich with all you have gained on the way,

not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has
given you the beautiful voyage.

Without her you would have never set out on the road.

She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived
you.

Wise as you have become, with so much experience,

you must already have understood what Ithacas
mean.

see what i mean? isn't it a beautiful poem? this, i think, embodies Kurosawa's own philosophy (judging from what Sir Brion said) of not hurrying, of savoring every moment. anything else i say about this poem will be redundant, because it says it so beautifully. this is what poetry (and great quotes, too) is for: to be able to say--and say beautifully--thoughts and ideas that are present in the human mind.

this evening, as i was watching living asia, they flashed this quote from robert louis stevenson:

For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go.

Wonderful. I think i share the same feelings myself. This is probably why i just want to GO. It's not that i'm not content where i am right now. I love my life as it is, but i don't want it to remain as it is. I don't know if i said that right.

*sigh*

until next time... i'm such a lazy blogger. pfft.

adventures, adventures

i was just watching this really cool channel (cool for me, anyway) called Living Asia. I guess I could describe it as a travel channel. maybe.

anyway, just now i finished watching Carrera Habagat in Camiguin. it looked so hard but i SO wanted to join! i want to join Pundok Habagat, a sort of outdoor club. It says on the Habagat website that you need to join two of their activities before you can join, but i couldn't find out WHERE and WHEN these activities are going to be held! grrr. argh.

but before i can actually do any adventure racing, i need to be fit. which means a gym. hah. i need some discipline in my life, and i think this may be the way to go for me. discipline is VERY important in adventure racing. you snooze, you lose. so if i want to do it, then i gotta work my ass off. and keep up my school work at the same time. i don't think these two objectives will totally conflict, since keeping fit is going to help me cope with stress from school! so there. it all meshes well.

i got published!!!

yeah, i know that i've known for months that i was gonna get published. i also knew when, and that people saw me (daniel from comm said he saw me in gadgets). however, it's really really different when you see yourself, your name, your articles RIGHT THERE.

it was so cool. i am sooooo happy! my first time to get published! la la la la la... ok, i just hope it won't be the last time.

should i try to submit that whole "searching for the perfect laptop" bit? i'm just worried cos i decided on twinhead, and i've noticed that none of the techie mags ever really mention twinhead for some reason (probably cos it's cheap?).

heehee.

i have absolutely no direction in my life.

the introspective nomad

i changed the title of my blog. yes.

just for kicks. no, seriously, i simply decided it was time for a change, and the phrase "introspective nomad" described me perfectly.

i think too much about ... everything (i really hope that's not some sort of mental disorder). and lately, i've been thinking a lot about me thinking a lot about me (sick, but that's they way the world turns, i'm not kidding). and i came to the conclusion that while it's ok to "contemplate" (the quotation marks are because of philo), there comes a point when you pat yourself too many times on the back and it becomes vanity. other times, you worry so much about things you can't change. and a lot of time, you just find out a lot about yourself: which can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on whether or not you're honest with yourself.

see, the thing is, contemplating on one's life as plato recommends is good, but it won't work if you're not honest with yourself. i mean, it's not like you have to share your thoughts with the rest of the world! but the things that you find out can do you a world of good--if you act on them.

it's sounds really vain and self centered, but i'm my own observer, which means that i'm a harsh critic. because the thing is, although i find a lot of things to be desired in myself, i don't seem to do anything about them. i get caught up in other things, in procrastination. i hate to say it, but i'm kind of lazy and a coward.

so before you all hate me, let's move on to the second part of the description, which is NOMAD. i decided that it sounded better than wanderlust. i mean, yeah, wanderlust is my affliction, but ... it's been on the top of the page so long! i guess i'm not really a nomad, more like a nomad-wannabe. haha. i think i've explained my love of travel often enough, so i'll cut this blog short.

inbox = erased

i accidentally erased my inbox this evening. don't ask me how.

so goodbye to all those christmas and new year messages that i was holding on to. goodbye to ... i don't even remember what i was holding on to. i guess it was a good thing that happened. now i have more space in my inbox, and that annoying "No More Space For New Messages" alert won't keep coming up.

i guess i had to let go of all that junk. i'm such a pack rat 'cos i guess i try to hold on to things. like the japanese. haha. prolonging the moment. (sorry, i came from Sir Brion's class and we watched Dreams).

___________________

Great Books is a wonderful, wonderful subject. i SWEAR!!! i mean, i was scared of sir brion at first cos everybody said he was scary, but now... i appreciate his class a lot. it's almost like i'm taking two philo classes (in which i also have a great teacher).

there was this segment in the movie where the people live in a water mill village, and there is no electricity. the dreamer asks the old man what they do at night about the dark, since there's no electricity. and the old man said "why can't the night be dark? that way we can see the stars better."

and i was just ... whoa. i have to say, i don't think that i would have really appreciated the film if sir brion didn't explain it to us. wow. oh and i always, always appreciate stuff where the central theme is living life and enjoying every moment, which is, as sir explained, how the japanese culture is. cool.

maybe my theo teacher is japanese. that class seems to go on forever that sometimes we think she warps time. jeez.

___________________

for some reason, i want to go out somewhere where i can scream and shout and just plain go crazy and nobody will mind. there's so much energy just ... stored up. none of those places exist near where i am.

chris is dead

just been watching charmed, the season finale.... and... I'M SO SAD!!!

i've been such a ninny lately, crying over stuff. but... he's dead. dead even before he was born!!! agh. isn't that just ironic? and very very strange, too.

AGH. drew fuller is so hot.