first step

"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." -Lao Tzu

I'm hoping that today is that first step. I'm starting a second-hand bookstore today. It's only open on weekends (I really don't have time during the week), but I have a great selection of books. I really hope that this will succeed so that I can expand and realize my dream of owning a homey second-hand bookstore. It will happen if I want it badly enough and if I'm willing to work hard for it. I just know it. So I just have to keep the will and the drive. So I will. Because nothing will happen if I don't. It took a lot of courage for me to start this anyhow, and although this past week I was filled with a lot of apprehension, I just keep telling myself "I can't stop now. I've invested too much time and effort and money." So the more I invest in it, the easier it will be for me to go on.

Kids, please visit my little store. 70 Vienna St., Merville Park. Open on weekends. Tell me what books you want to see in my stores. I have a pretty good selection. More books next week.

I'm trying not to let all this overwhelm and scare me. I'll take it one step at a time. Good luck to me!

resurrection

i can't believe i still remember my old ICQ number. that is so cool. to date, it has been resurrected twice! unbelievable. and when i looked at my contact list, it's still the same old contact list (except that nobody's online. haha)

i thought about ICQ again when i did an article for mph about mobile messaging. anyway, most of the apps supported ICQ, and i really liked Agile Messenger which supports 5 different messaging accounts (yahoo, ICQ, MSN, AOL, and this other thing I forgot. irrelevant) and then, i decided why not open it up. and i did. i didn't remember the password anymore, but at least i remembered which email address it was under. but my goodness. ICQ. good times. AND it's really really improved. seriously. check it out at ICQ.com.

i've also resurrected my Hotmail account. lol. took me a while to remember my password. by the way, re-activating your account is all it does. your inbox and contacts are wiped clean. i don't have much hope of re-activating my first ever email address: crazy_kt@hotmail.com. they probably wiped that from the database already.

ahhh... good times.

anyhoo, if anyone out there decided to use ICQ again, add me: 150732004. para naman magamit ko yung account! haha.

also get agileMobile. saves a lot of money.

dreaming big

In one of my mom's classic panic attacks a few weeks ago, I realized that I didn't have a Big Dream. I knew what kind of life I'd like to lead, but I didn't have anything concrete. And, as it turns out, that is pretty important. My mom was asking me what I wanted to be, what I wanted to achieve, and I couldn't give a straight answer. I had all these short term goals, but they're all over the place! I wanted to work at this place, go to this place, experience this thing. My mom was asking me for something I looked forward to. Let me tell you, realizing that you don't have a dream is pretty damn scary.

I thought I knew what I wanted. But the things I wanted... well, they're too small. I've actually made a dent into my short term goals in the short time since graduation. What next? It's not easy to realize that you've been a coward, short-sighted, and unambitous. I've always had a definite idea about life and about myself that it shocks me that I never saw this coming. Why did I never have a Big Dream? Probably because life was just too easy for me. Most people, in their formative years, are struck by one experience that changes how they see the world. Maybe they see a need and they feel they have to fill it.

I was just cruising, taking in the sights. I was interested in too many things, I guess, that eventually, I kind of just thought that I won't be able to do them all. I realize now that I've done much more daydreaming and writing about my daydreams than actually doing anything about them. For example, every time I pass by the fishing ponds in Cavite, I keep thinking that maybe I can organize volunteers for barangays to do something about the environment. I plan it all in my head and talk it over with my parents, but somehow I never get off my butt to do it.

In college, I took up a course that centered around multimedia. I've always been messing around with web pages, but I'm thinking now that that's not what I'm going to pursue. I'm going to write. Yes, write. It's the best way to experience new things and make a profit. I've found my Big Dream, and it's a very specific one. I'm not going to write it out here just in case it doesn't work out or something. I'll keep it close and hold it tight and let go at the right time.

For now, I'm just building up experience. And building up the courage to go after my dream. Whew.

dizzy

Last night, I went on a job-hunting spree. Today, I got two call interested parties: mph and Scubaworld. Mph is asking me for my previous techie articles, but one problem: the good copies died with my laptop! Oy vay!

Good thing, though, that those articles were published and that I have the copy of the magazine. However, I don't have a scanner and it's been hell trying to take pictures of the text. Damn it. Even the scanner of the business center in the village is busted.

I was looking for more articles that I can give--apparently I blogged about techie stuff relatively often--and along the way I read my whinings and daydreamings from my thesis days. Oh what fun. Anyway, there was one post where I was listing all the stuff I wanted to do after college--and writing for a tech magazine is one of them!

I also seem to be working towards more than 50% of the items on the list, which is a great thing! That means I did know what I want then and I'm getting to my goals!

Ok. I'm hungry now. Gotta go.

job applications

damn. i finally fixed my resume and submitted it to some companies. oh gawd.

my parents i are looking towards different directions, i think. seriously. it's driving me nuts. it pays to listen to them, of course, but still. i'm headed for a white padded room.