bloggercaps

neglect

2005-09-01T10:16:00.000+08:00

having 3 active blogs is not the easiest thing. and i'm thinking my bloggercaps is feeling lonely. awww...

so i'm going to post here now.

well, i was right on time for work today--0858AM! yay me! so right now, i'm technically done with what i'm supposed to be doing. there are a few kinks in it, but it's not really my fault, nor is there anything i can do about it that i know of. i've basically done all that i can do.

good thing i brought along the book i read, and kudos to yahoo for launchcast. and thanks to mitzi too (oh, sorry, melissa) for bringing along her wonderful CDs.

so right now, i'm bored and kind of running low on batteries. i want to skip out early, truly, but i can't. and i want to watch a movie or something, but i don't know if my mom will let me.

running commentary on office life:

me, mitzi, and ian are arguing over who should pass out the rinbee. what if nobody wants it naman pala? :(

ok. now i'm listening to Broadway. later i'll be reading my book. i need a break from my PC.

i had a dream

2005-08-26T09:05:00.000+08:00

for some reason, i find it easier and more interesting to blog about my dreams instead of real life. perhaps it's because my dreams are so crazy and maybe it's because i find real life so dull in comparison.

anyway, before i get into too much drama, here it goes:

a member of the family (a kid brother, i think) saw little people. i say "little people" because for some reason, it never occured to me in the dream to call them dwende (dwarves). they were outside the house. for some reason, we had to leave the house for somewhere far away. we were in a rush and i just kept stuffing things in my bag, looking for things and losing things. there were two of the black paul frank bag that i have, and the earrings that i've been wearing for a week are missing. then i think people were coming to look/watch or help. it's fuzzy for me already.

questions

2005-07-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

whenever i'm asked to come up with a question in a specific situation, i'm usually stumped. i have a hard time gathering coherent thoughts.

however, at the oddest times, questions pop up in my head, like just a moment ago. and they're pretty much useless. curious and interesting, but useless. mostly, they're just proof that i can come up with questions. here are some of my questions. see if you can answer them:

1. why are cockroaches usually found on their backs after dying from bug spray?
2. i always hear people saying that girls retain water during their monthlies (which is why we get so bloated, right?). does this mean that we pee less?

there was this one question before that none of my friends could answer, but my driver finally coughed it up:
you'll notice that in big, long trucks, the hub caps of the front wheels are sticking outwards while the back wheels are sunken inwards. why? it turns out to be very simple. the back wheels are in pairs, and it makes it easier to bolt them together when their hubs are facing each other. you get it? cool, huh?

meeting the man

2005-07-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

i met neil gaiman today. ahahaha. he signed stardust and american gods for me. *dance* stood in line for 7 hours. patience is a virtue. i am so tired. just wanted to record this historic moment.

mr. gaiman is such a wonderful person. his love for his work really shines through. thank you for being so patient with your fans, mr. gaiman! i'll treasure my signed copies forever. i swear they won't end up on eBay.

hand made

2005-07-02T11:24:00.000+08:00

jing taught me how to do the bookbinding thing!!! it was 2 am and i was groggy and kinda whiny by 5, but it was totally worth it!!! i love it!!! it's so pretty!!! wow. i'm getting excited. you can tell by the exclamation points. anyway, this is it. i mean, i'm in with jing on this. it's so... fulfilling. haha. sorry if i'm not making too much sense. i'm so sleepy.

first step

2005-06-25T08:29:00.000+08:00

"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." -Lao Tzu

I'm hoping that today is that first step. I'm starting a second-hand bookstore today. It's only open on weekends (I really don't have time during the week), but I have a great selection of books. I really hope that this will succeed so that I can expand and realize my dream of owning a homey second-hand bookstore. It will happen if I want it badly enough and if I'm willing to work hard for it. I just know it. So I just have to keep the will and the drive. So I will. Because nothing will happen if I don't. It took a lot of courage for me to start this anyhow, and although this past week I was filled with a lot of apprehension, I just keep telling myself "I can't stop now. I've invested too much time and effort and money." So the more I invest in it, the easier it will be for me to go on.

Kids, please visit my little store. 70 Vienna St., Merville Park. Open on weekends. Tell me what books you want to see in my stores. I have a pretty good selection. More books next week.

I'm trying not to let all this overwhelm and scare me. I'll take it one step at a time. Good luck to me!

resurrection

2005-06-20T02:46:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i still remember my old ICQ number. that is so cool. to date, it has been resurrected twice! unbelievable. and when i looked at my contact list, it's still the same old contact list (except that nobody's online. haha)

i thought about ICQ again when i did an article for mph about mobile messaging. anyway, most of the apps supported ICQ, and i really liked Agile Messenger which supports 5 different messaging accounts (yahoo, ICQ, MSN, AOL, and this other thing I forgot. irrelevant) and then, i decided why not open it up. and i did. i didn't remember the password anymore, but at least i remembered which email address it was under. but my goodness. ICQ. good times. AND it's really really improved. seriously. check it out at ICQ.com.

i've also resurrected my Hotmail account. lol. took me a while to remember my password. by the way, re-activating your account is all it does. your inbox and contacts are wiped clean. i don't have much hope of re-activating my first ever email address: crazy_kt@hotmail.com. they probably wiped that from the database already.

ahhh... good times.

anyhoo, if anyone out there decided to use ICQ again, add me: 150732004. para naman magamit ko yung account! haha.

also get agileMobile. saves a lot of money.

dreaming big

2005-06-13T23:04:00.000+08:00

In one of my mom's classic panic attacks a few weeks ago, I realized that I didn't have a Big Dream. I knew what kind of life I'd like to lead, but I didn't have anything concrete. And, as it turns out, that is pretty important. My mom was asking me what I wanted to be, what I wanted to achieve, and I couldn't give a straight answer. I had all these short term goals, but they're all over the place! I wanted to work at this place, go to this place, experience this thing. My mom was asking me for something I looked forward to. Let me tell you, realizing that you don't have a dream is pretty damn scary.

I thought I knew what I wanted. But the things I wanted... well, they're too small. I've actually made a dent into my short term goals in the short time since graduation. What next? It's not easy to realize that you've been a coward, short-sighted, and unambitous. I've always had a definite idea about life and about myself that it shocks me that I never saw this coming. Why did I never have a Big Dream? Probably because life was just too easy for me. Most people, in their formative years, are struck by one experience that changes how they see the world. Maybe they see a need and they feel they have to fill it.

I was just cruising, taking in the sights. I was interested in too many things, I guess, that eventually, I kind of just thought that I won't be able to do them all. I realize now that I've done much more daydreaming and writing about my daydreams than actually doing anything about them. For example, every time I pass by the fishing ponds in Cavite, I keep thinking that maybe I can organize volunteers for barangays to do something about the environment. I plan it all in my head and talk it over with my parents, but somehow I never get off my butt to do it.

In college, I took up a course that centered around multimedia. I've always been messing around with web pages, but I'm thinking now that that's not what I'm going to pursue. I'm going to write. Yes, write. It's the best way to experience new things and make a profit. I've found my Big Dream, and it's a very specific one. I'm not going to write it out here just in case it doesn't work out or something. I'll keep it close and hold it tight and let go at the right time.

For now, I'm just building up experience. And building up the courage to go after my dream. Whew.

dizzy

2005-06-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

Last night, I went on a job-hunting spree. Today, I got two call interested parties: mph and Scubaworld. Mph is asking me for my previous techie articles, but one problem: the good copies died with my laptop! Oy vay!

Good thing, though, that those articles were published and that I have the copy of the magazine. However, I don't have a scanner and it's been hell trying to take pictures of the text. Damn it. Even the scanner of the business center in the village is busted.

I was looking for more articles that I can give--apparently I blogged about techie stuff relatively often--and along the way I read my whinings and daydreamings from my thesis days. Oh what fun. Anyway, there was one post where I was listing all the stuff I wanted to do after college--and writing for a tech magazine is one of them!

I also seem to be working towards more than 50% of the items on the list, which is a great thing! That means I did know what I want then and I'm getting to my goals!

Ok. I'm hungry now. Gotta go.

job applications

2005-06-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

damn. i finally fixed my resume and submitted it to some companies. oh gawd.

my parents i are looking towards different directions, i think. seriously. it's driving me nuts. it pays to listen to them, of course, but still. i'm headed for a white padded room.

living in the real world

2005-05-20T18:38:00.000+08:00

I met up with Jing in Makati this afternoon. She told me this story about a girl she met while being an usherette in CCP. This girl has been having a hard time continuing her education because her family doesn't have enough money. She was only able to enroll last semester because her classmates chipped in for the PhP1,500 tuition fee.

Yes, I already know that things like this happen in the real world. But you don't really know until you've had an encounter with that person. Labor trials and immersion in school was a good experience, giving us a chance to know the Other. Still, the fact that it's a school activity gives it a feel of being contrived as opposed to YOU going out there in the world by yourself and meeting these people without someone in between. I don't mean that it's contrived in the sense that their poverty and state of living is contrived--I mean that it's like there's someone beside you saying "here. here are the less privileged people. this is their experience. learn from them." That's a totally different way to experience things than going to work and meeting people and THEN getting to know the story of their life.

I still have a lot to say about this, but I'm still sorting them out.

Movie Review: Revenge of the Sith

2005-05-20T18:30:00.000+08:00

Revenge of the Sith is the one we're all waiting for because this is the movie where Anakin turns into the Darth Vader we all know and love from episodes 4 to 6. With so much expectation, ROTS is just BOUND to disappoint fans. Face it: we pretty much have our ideas of what the film should be like.
In my opinion, there were some lines that weren't necessary and the delivery fell flat. However, these instances weren't as bad as Anakin and Amidala's cheesy lines, especially in the scene in the balcony ("You're so beautiful" "It's because I'm in love" "No, it's because I'm in love with you" "So love has blinded you?"). Seriously, it was a barf-worthy moment.
Another thing that bothered me was how quickly Anakin turned to the Dark side. He had his reasons and you see the conflict and how he tried to do the right thing by telling Mace Windu about Darth Sidious; you can see that he felt that Mace didn't "follow the Jedi way" by trying to kill the Chancellor right off. Still, after his awkward moment of regret--and Anakin's "What have I done?!" was awkward--it was like suddenly the good in him was erased! All the Jedi training--with which he was beautifully arguing with Palpatine--was suddenly not there, and he even killed the young Jedi in the temple.

Let's give some credit to George Lucas, though. I love how he stayed true to the transitional "wipes"--it's just so classic! Also, I think that the way Palpatine manouvered Anakin was so elegantly done, combined with the way the Jedi council was treating Anakin. Those were the parts that were just so beautiful to watch. Palpatine simply said all the right things, and the Jedi council, though they did make some mistakes, acted the way they thought was best--and you can see that they have a point.

In conclusion, all I can say is that George Lucas has totally mastered the presentation of the interplay between the Sith and the Jedi--enough to really make you think. However, his weakness is in the romance (which is also evident in Episode 2). Given that the focus of the whole series is on the "good and evil", I think it would be safe to say that it's a success--way better than Episodes 1 and 2, definitely.

This is not all I have to say, being a Star Wars fan. However, everything else is just nitpicking. I say enjoy the movie in the spirit of the whole series. We expect a lot of this movie: but if it doesn't meet our expectations, shrug and take it to mean that George Lucas has endeared the characters and the story to us that much.

freezing

2005-02-16T09:05:00.000+08:00

wala lang. i'm freezing my ass off in the multimedia classroom. i wish this week were over. i have two tests to get through before the weekend. bleah. i hate this. i hate school. sorry to be whining.

and i don't know what to wear for mitzi's thing. cocktail? i am just not a cocktail kind of girl, i guess. good luck na lang sa akin. bahala na. i'll go there dressed, i just don't know what i'll be dressed in. hehe

finally

2005-01-26T20:20:00.000+08:00

AGH! finally, after months and months of having only Midnight over Sanctaphranx on the shelf (which is #3 in the series), Powerbooks finally stocked books 1 and 2 of the Edge Chronicles.

As of this afternoon, I am now a proud owner of book 1, Beyond Deepwoods.

Strange: never got interested in Series of Unfortunate Events, but was greatly drawn to the Edge Chronicles. More my kind of thing, I guess. Fantasy, strange creatures, sky pirates. *sigh*

Anyway, I've been compiling a list of books that i want to own, and soon, i'll be putting up a wish list page. Yay!

On a heavier, more self-involved note, Sir Gus was discussing Levinas in class. specifically, about the Other: that we experience only the TRACE of the other. more on this later. i gotta work on ePub.

writing for the sake of writing

2005-01-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

taskeen asked me to update. haha. so i'll update. however, i doubt that anyone will be really interested in this since this post is about me, me, and me.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Will I ever meet me?

Sometimes i worry that i don't really know who i am. I've been hedging around this question for some time now, and it has become more and more urgent for me to come to terms with myself because my parents are pushing me to pursue further studies. But what studies should i pursue?

some time ago, i decided to stick to a cause (the environment). but then, how will i serve that cause? in what capacity? i'm scared that i'm absolutely talentless, that i'm mediocre in many things (jack of all trades, master of none!). and if i am talentless, what does that mean for me? for my future?

when i was younger, i always thought that i would end up doing something great, that it will come to me. as it turns out, life's not like that. you're the one who has to pursue what you want to happen in life. unfortunately, i don't seem to know what i want in life.

right now, all i know about what future job i want is...

1. i want to be happy to do it2. i will be good at it3. hopefully, it will allow me to travel4. i have a fair employer5. it's flexible and not very structured the way 9-5 jobs are (no management positions, please!)

i know i'm taking up multimedia, and that i think i have some potential with it. but i'm also very interested in history and philosophy (although what career i can get with that, i don't know). i also like the outdoors, and reading and critiquing books (especially young adult fantasy).

actually, there is one thing that i would like to do: maybe write a book (non-fiction) about young adult fantasy. i really, really would love to have to do this. however, i don't think that any publishers here in the Philippines would be sold on that idea, and i don't know that any publishers in other countries would accept me, if they ever do get interested in the idea. *sigh* i think i have to talk to sir brion about this.

==============================================

me and me

the other day, i was telling blooey about the tragic fact that a person will probably never miss himself or herself because they're with themselves 24/7. do you get what i mean? if you start of thinking of yourself as "me" and think of yourself as another person... things start to get... i dunno... sometimes depressing. i haven't decided how i feel about it yet.

but now i'm thinking, i'm with me 24/7, and yet... i don't know me. i haven't really met me. there's just too much there that i don't understand. i think, though, that this lack of "understanding" is just me trying to grab a hold of myself, to hold myself still in one place: to put labels on me, i guess.

oh my gawd, i just realized something. i've been attempting to make the same (which has somewhat become an other) into the same. shit. i'm going crazy. this is the sort of things that can drive a person into a mental institution.

but seriously, when you think about it, you can't really definitely say that a person is like this or like that because the next day they can be different. people are funny like that: they're constantly changing, from one moment to the next.

a few years ago, i remember that i got so depressed (hell, i was crying in my bed) because i realized that NOBODY will ever know ME. the whole me, i mean. because no matter how hard you try, you're really a slightly different person to different people. each person you interact with sees something different in you--just a part of who you are. NOBODY (except God, i guess) knows all of you.

and now, (it's a good thing i didn't end up crying again) i realize that not even I can understand/know MYSELF. so how can you expect anybody else to do the same?

our potentials as human beings constantly manifest themselves in a person. that's why we're always changing. potentials that manifest themselves but don't come to pass or do. so when i pick a career for me, then i'm picking just one or two potentials to see through.

*bleah*this is giving me a headache.

additions

2005-01-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

9. Keep in touch more with old friends

this is especially important now that i'm graduating
must gather numbers. lost all when i lost my phone. gah. send me your numbers, all.

10. Follow through

i keep making plans and i don't follow through. i should.
stick to plans. like this one.

New Year's Resolutions

2005-01-02T18:31:00.000+08:00

I think it's always nice to set goals for the year. It gives a person something to look forward to, i guess. This is a special year, of course: the year I will finally be FREE of the academe. Oh, heaven.

As of this moment, I have not yet been able to track down where I stored a copy of my sampung mga daliri website, which contains last year's resolutions (or was it 2 years ago? uh oh), so right now, i can't really evaluate how well I've lived up to those resolutions.

Enough about the past. Let me get on with this year's proposals.

1. Stay physically fit.

join a gym and MEAN IT.
have a regular exercise program. buy one of those video work-out things if i have to
eat healthier. minimize junk food and carbonated drinks

2. Be more disciplined.

when i make plans to study, i have to stick to them.
no more procrastinating.
if i stick to a study plan, i get a reward.
if i don't ... then i don't get a reward. i want to say i'll get punished, but... nah.

3. Be more people-ized

be more friendly
hiding in my room is permitted, but only after i've gone down to greet people
be more conscientious about birthdays and other special occassions
make an effort to get to know people in my neighborhood: stop being such a loser

4. Practice, practice, practice

set up a decent personal website. i mean it. you know you want to but you're just too lazy.
if you really want to join adventure races, then by God, find people who are interested. when there's a will, there's water... i mean, a way (wahehe. corny.) REMEMBER: plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. you gotta make opportunities instead of just waiting for them to come your way. remember juan tamad. jeez.
and how can you even hope to join adventure races if you can't even pass the skills test?! refer to #1. be fit.
apply for a job in a magazine you like. you know which ones.
research on how to apply for school in other countries.
decide on whether you want to join aisec.

5. be more diplomatic in disagreements with the parental units

6. be a better sister (that sounds so good. heehee)

7. take better care of personal possessions

clean the desktop and laptop: inside and out; get the desktop burner fixed!
vacuum the keyboards
DO NOT lose another cellphone
DO NOT lose your wallet

8. be more financially conscious

stop being such a glutton. buy only food that you can finish
save. save. save.
don't be capricious
learn to earn

hmm... what else? that's all i can think of for now. i'll build on them as i go along, maybe?

*shrugs*

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

tsunami

2004-12-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

this has truly been the year of disasters. in particular, the asian countries. it's like blow after blow after blow.

nature strikes, and we are reminded that we don't control it. we are reminded of our mortality--our frailty. sure, we could have lessened the damage through decent early-warning devices in the Indian Ocean, but lives and livelihood would still have been lost. the images we have seen on television have been heartbreaking: the loss is staggering. i can't even begin to describe it. whole families are lost, and the ones who survived have no means of continuing their economic survival and have to depend on the charity of others.

as sad as i am about the tragedies, i am awed by the human response, the capacity for compassion. no matter how many times i see it, i am struck with wonder.

death comes in bulk once more.

i'm a friggin' idiot

2004-12-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

in trying to get help and materials for my website, i looked to world wildlife fund philippines for help... which they didn't exactly give. and i relied so heavily on that that i ended up writing and making up the material on my own.

fast forward to last sunday. in a sudden panic because i only have two articles to show what Filipino children is doing to help the environment, i emailed to some yahoogroups of environmentalists from the philippines. today, one person from that yahoogroup emailed me to ask me to email my materials to him through his personal email because yahoo doesn't accept attachments anymore. and THAT requires effort on his part. i mean, some people would probably just say "ah, interesting" and then be too busy to follow up on their interest, right? but this person is an ANGEL. to me, anyway.

another very generous help came from an unexpected direction yesterday, within 24 hours of my email (isn't it nice when people respond promptly? wow) to the junior inquirer, simply asking for permission to post a copy of their articles on the website. her reply included THREE contact persons. AND i got my first compliment on my thesis when she called it "very commendable." imagine that.

i contacted two of them so far, and one of them already replied today, with a brief write up of their club, called the Friends of the Seven Lakes Foundation (FSLF) Kids in Canossa College in Laguna. i read the articles that were attached and i am SO inspired. i mean, it's wonderful, what they're doing. make your kids study in that school. it'll be good for them. seriously.

anyway, the woman who contacted me was very enthusiastic to help me. she told me that she will be here this friday until sunday, and she will bring pictures for me. and because three kids will be with her on this trip, i can also have an interview with them.

again, i am a friggin' idiot. WHY did i not tap into the right resources earlier?! WHY?! i overlooked them. BUT right now i'm as happy as a fly in warm poo because it turns out that people like my idea and are very willing to help.

a fly in my ointment (agh. flies again? sorry): I STILL DON'T LIKE MY DESIGN. HEELPP!!!

rewards, rewards

2004-12-07T01:22:00.000+08:00

because of my hard work these past couple of days, i deemed myself worthy of a reward: a new book, The Ropemaker by Peter Dickinson.

soon, i'll put up a site with my book wish list. oh yay!

spraining the brain

2004-12-07T01:13:00.000+08:00

my thesis is far from over. but it's nobody else's fault but mine.

actually, the biggest thing that i'm really getting pissed about is my design. i mean, seriously. it's like, i know good design when i see it and i can improve on an existing design. but somehow, making one up seems to be beyond me. i mean, i am coming up with designs, actually, but they don't seem to me to be designs that would appeal to children.

and so now i'm dissatisfied.

anyway, today, someone told me that my thesis project was "very commendable." aw shucks. but seriously, the woman who said that was great. she gave me a lot of contact information within 24 hourse. wonderful.

i like my project. i do. but the design. the design is just driving me crazy. and the worst thing about it is that it's ME that i'm up against. i just want to crack my head open and see if there are any ideas that haven't made it to the forefront of my mind yet.

the thesis room

i think this is the most number of people that i have seen in the thesis room. seriously. everybody looked like they were on their last legs.

my head hurts.

a worrywart is born

2004-11-16T03:33:00.000+08:00

i've always known that i was an insomniac. even my mom regales me with stories about me being a night owl when i was but a little girl.

however, my insomnia has been thrown to a completely new level. it's 0330AM. an hour ago, i was sleepy, so i tried to sleep. i can't sleep without thinking about something, like visualizing in my head what i'll do the next day. but lately, these visual "to do" lists have becoming more and more stressful. today, i kept thinking about my thesis, and how there is less than 3 weeks to go. i mentally scheduled the things i have to do. in the end, i had to get up and put it in a calendar (which, by the way, i slaved over making: you should see it, it's beautiful).

i always knew i had an organized streak in me, but this is ridiculous. this weekend alone, to simply be able to work on my thesis, i rearranged my whole room so that i don't have to work facing the wall. and then, i worked on this calendar made out of cartolina and letter envelopes (my dad said it was impractical for me to waste my time making it).

the thing is, i didn't feel that i could work if i didn't do these things. organized streaks be damned. i never knew i could be this anal.

and now, i'm up, and i can't sleep. i have around 2 hours before i have to get up!

well, hell. if i'm going to lose some sleep, better lose it for a good cause. if i don't fall asleep in the next two hours, i'll be working my ass off either for sir jason moss or for sir rofel brion.

whoopee.

goodbye, blue xmas

2004-11-15T22:14:00.000+08:00

i just found out this afternoon that i will not be able to attend blue christmas because it will be on the same day as the AXN race. what kind of christmas event is held in november, anyway?! bleah. i'm sourgraping.

and it's not like i don't have my hands full, as i'm STILL working on my thesis. can i just fast forward to january??? phu-leeeaze?

i'm hungry. at least i can eat anything now, my tummy's behaving wonderfully. yay!

baby steps

2004-11-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

ok, kids, it's for real. i'm marshaling the AXN Challenge on the 27th of November. No backing out, it's going to happen. I figured i don't have that much experience yet to go straight to joining adventure races (since i don't even have a sport). And since i missed the adventure racing workshop, i'm doing this instead.

it's going to be hard work, but i hope it will at least be interesting. i got an email in one of my yahoogroups about these two guys looking for a girl teammate and they're from ateneo. i got the email yesterday; the last day of the registration period was two days ago. huh. wonderful. it would've been nice to actually be part of the race instead of being at just one checkpoint. bleah.

at the initial orientation, they told us that it would be around 12 hours of hard work, aside from getting our food late. and all we get in return will be one AXN t-shirt. so we'd better make sure daw that we know what we're in for. the speaker also discouraged people from volunteering just because they think it's fun. uh oh. haha. just kidding. i know it'll be hard, but i think i'm up for it. but for a job where all you get is a t-shirt, surprisingly, there's a long waiting list.

one of the coordinators called me up to confirm that i've been accepted as a marshal, and at one point, he asked me if i went with my friends. when i said "no," you know what he said??? he said "talaga? ang tapang mo ah." oh mommy. i don't know if i'll be flattered or scared shitless. that orientientation was terrifying enough. it was a room full of toned and muscled people with sun-darkened skins, who you just know can probably take any challenge (physical) that you can throw at them.

implications

my parents, because of their generous and loving hearts, have changed the date of gaby's christening to 28 November. please tell me who can make it and who want to be ninongs and ninangs (because i'm inviting all shungaks).

amoebiasis strikes again

2004-11-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

after a week of tummy aches... i decide it's time to go to the doctor. after some questions and examinations, she tells me i have amoebiasis... again.

agh. i don't think i'll be confined again, but it's really, really uncomfortable!!! the whole week!!!

***

i read taskeen's prayer again. wow. yun lang. read it.

***

bleah. gus' class is messing me up. which is good. like taskeen's prayer said, i need some disturbing. it's good to reevaluate where i stand time and time again. somehow, it's never boring.

bah! i give up

2004-11-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

ok. i'm reverting to a blogger template. simply because the anemic site really isn't working, and i don't exactly have time to fix myself a nice blog. dang, it really sucks.

hmm... i'll have time around february, i guess. for now, i have to be happy with this. i HAVE to. haha.

*yawn*

my early morning skeds are really killing me.

2004-11-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

me and gaby

2004-11-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

mama and gaby's first night

2004-11-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

greenbelt kids. memorable day for bloo? *sorry!*

2004-11-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

reg day girls. frazzled?

2004-11-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

me and my two cousins, although the other one is cut off. hahaha.

the break that it isn't

2004-10-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

a person would think that a semestral break would give a person time to do the things that she needs to do.

apparently, if it's not one thing, it's another. time is SUCH a precious commodity. i can't even feel relaxed because it's like whatever i do, i see a countdown clock superimposed over it all. i mean, come on. barely more than two weeks is not a break, especially not if you're also using that time to do a lot of your thesis work so you won't be so stressed by the time the second semester rolls around.

updates, updates.

i don't think i'll update my website. if i do, consider it a miracle (and i also
won't be using blogger anymore, if that's the case)

i lost my cellphone.
or more like someone stole it. i won't go into the details, it's pretty boring.
however, i discovered that... wow: i really, really don't care that much. i
mean, yeah, it's a waste, but i'm not really in mourning mode or panic mode.
it's going to be a bit harder when i want to get home from somewhere, but aside
from that... to hell with it. it's probably because i don't have a significant
other and the fact that i don't really like texting all that much. blah. i am so
sad (i.e. pathetic, not lonely)

my mom's adopting, so i'm getting a
little sister. she's almost a year old, has curly hair, and is morena.
hmm... how's that going to change my life? whatever, i'll just take it as it
comes.

ok... i really have to get started on my To Do list now.

oh. one more note: i finally decided to read the Prydain Chronicles of Lloyd Alexander. i know, i know, for such a children's fantasy buff, i can't believe i haven't read it. and it's not like i didn't have access because i remember seeing it all the time in the library in Montessori, but... i don't know, i guess i wasn't in the mood then.

now, i've decided that i have to read it. the Prydain Chronicles are like Aristotle or Kant in Philosophy. it's like a cornerstone, a standard, a foundation (oh, wait. that's what a cornerstone means, right? ahaha). and i am so glad i went for it because i am thoroughly enjoying it. seriously, i only started two days ago and now i'm already on the third book. oh joy. no wonder i'm not getting anything done for my thesis! nyeargh.

books are addictive. stay away from them.

a flash-based blog

2004-10-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

ok. i am thinking of making me a new flash-based webbie, and i gotta do it now, while i have the time. anyhow, that would mean putting my blog in there. so... either i find a way to incorporate my blogger account into my blog or i create a totally new xml-based blog.

let me lay it down, so i can clear my head, too.

if i want a blog from scratch, i can do it in 2 ways in xml, as far as i know.

1. i can just write my blog entries in the xml file itself. i update only the xml file, but it's going to be a bitch, coding my entries, if i want it stylized. then i'd just get a tagboard for comments.

or

2. i can script a whole blog maker. as in i don't upload anything. i just log into my flash site with a password (easy enough to do), then use a form for my blog just like in blogger, then append the content of the form to the xml. but i see one big problem with that: fine, it appends the xml, but it will be gone as soon as the movie clip ends because i don't think it can save the file especially if it's in geocities or even if it was in my yahoo briefcase.

grrr...

if anyone else knows another way to make a blog in flash, i would gladly appreciate the help.

let's all toast to some whine

2004-09-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

i know i slacked off this weekend. i admit it was my fault. but hey, i'm only human, so allow me to whine about this week.
i have a test on both theology and great books on thursday, which pretty much assures me of zero sleep on wednesday night. however, i also have to write my philosophy paper by friday, and it's NOT a paper that i can cram, nor do i want to. i have to start work on it by tonight, as well as make a dent in the novel i have to read by thursday for great books. oh, and did i mention that i'm also reporting on the said novel?
and not to forget that i have a thesis consultation on wednesday, by which i should have already...
1. checked up on the three sources that i have2. come up with more storyboards3. come up with a definite structure for the website.
all of which ensures... almost no sleep on tuesday night.
and who says i can finish the novel by tonight?! well, i probably could... hmm...
so should i finish the novel tonight and try doing my philo paper tomorrow or should i read the article i need to read for my philo paper and then read the novel?
decisions, decisions. boy, i sure suck at this. i hope i haven't forgotten anything...

da vinci code is the new harry potter

2004-09-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

...is the new lord of the rings.

now, some people might kill me for that statement (the respective fans of each, for example). but as i see things, that statement is true.

every once in a while, some books become so popular that it seems like every other literate person has read it, is reading it, or wants to read it. honestly. i remember there was this person back in high school who was not at all the type to read, and he admitted as much. it turns out, though, that he has read a non-required book for school: harry potter. oh, the power of literature.

the reason i am writing about this phenomenon is that aside from being awed by this phenomenon, i am extremely curious about how it starts. i mean, is it from word-of-mouth or do they just have really good publicists?

i've read the da vinci code and harry potter and the lord of the rings. and yes, i found them to be great books. on the other hand, i've also read books as good as they are which aren't nearly as popular. why is that? why aren't those books popular?

by the way, i'm really asking, so feel free to post your answers.

Just like 20/20

2004-09-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the first day that I wore contact lenses. I've always been fascinated with the idea, but I was too scared of putting those things in my eyes! Besides, i've heard of people going blind when they accidentally leave their contact lenses on when they sleep. *shudders*

However, seeing the bausch & lomb booth in school yesterday giving out free contact lenses really intrigued me. i probably wouldn't have done if i were on my own, but blooey wanted one, too. so, i went. when it was time for the lady to put my contact lenses on me, i was hands-twisting-legs-jittering nervous. i've already decided to go through with it, so there was no backing out, and i wanted to see for myself. people have said it was painful at first, but nobody ever died of putting contact lenses in. thinking about it now, i must say that i admire the courage of the pioneers of the contact lens. they were very brave souls.

bracing myself, i watch the woman clean the lens and i ask her a million questions about going blind and how to put it on or take it out. then, the moment of truth finally comes. she holds my eye open, and carefully tries to place the lens in my eye.

suddenly, my eye lid twitches like it was injected with crack, and my eye is flooded with tears (not because i was crying!). she tries to put it on about twenty more times: it would get caught on my eyelashes (she threatened to cut them short!), or it would fold or something. gawd, it took us SO long. i was so embarassed, but no way was i backing out now! in the meantime, it seemed like everytime her finger got close to my eyeballs, the lids would move as if independent from my body. i tried to stop it, i swear!

finally, she gets it in, and finally, it stays. we all heave a sigh of relief: one down, one to go.

getting the second one in was as much an ordeal as the first one. it was pathetic, and i pitied the lady who probably got cramps trying to put the lens in. when it was over, i had 20/20 vision and eyes red and puffy from the tears i've produced. mau tried it too. unlike me, it took her all of one minute to get both eyes done, which only drove home the point of how pathetic i was. *bleah*

later that night, as i was out with my friends, i gave in to the sudden impulse to scratch my eyes, and only realized afterwards what i had done. pop goes the lens in my left eye. i panic. luckily, my friends also wear contact lenses, and nina, the sweetheart that she is, tries to help my by putting it on me. eventually, we decided it won't work, and she holds a mirror in front of me. so it came to be that i was in the front seat of a moving vehicle, and trying to get my contact lens in (good thing we weren't going fast). and, i succeed.

then, there was pain. horrible pain. stinging pain. pain pain pain. is it any wonder i panicked? i thought that maybe i had gotten some of the alcohol i used to clean my hands with in my eye. ALCOHOL! IN! MY! EYE!

apparently, it only stung like that because i used the lubricant (not owning a bottle of solution) to clean and moisten the lens, and it really stings. darn it. the pain really threw me into total panic, thinking i would go blind in my left eye. it was a masochist's dream.

getting it out was easier, to my relief. had to put them i water, though, instead of solution. i'm going out later to buy a bottle.

an anemic site

2004-09-01T17:26:00.000+08:00

ok, so i changed the opacity of my alpha filter for the background to make it not so transparent. problem is, now the WHOLE PAGE is fading. seriously, it looks like it has anemia, or like a vampire. eew. what can i do about this? help...

i think i failed my history test. and not because i didn't know the answers. i had no time to answer everything. heck, i didn't even have time to answer half of it.

ok, so i found that i can make my flash tagboard save the messages. bad news is, i have to learn XML to do it. oh momma. i am stuck in html and as country. dang you programming freaks for creating so friggin many programming languages. pick one and STICK TO IT! *bleah* sorry, it's just so frustrating.

a new home

2004-08-31T20:16:00.000+08:00

notice the blankness of my blog template.

no, it's not just for kicks or a sudden hate for color. it's because i'm updating my geocities website and i'm incorporating my blog there. so far, all i have is the main page with the blog in it. soon (i hope), i'll create a flash website to back it up.

for now, here it is:

...and if anyone knows how to make the background of a website opaque, please please please teach me how. mitzi said she's finding it a bid hard to read my blog on the bottlecaps page.

the return of the bruce

2004-08-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

many of you know and love my laptop, Bruce Patotot.

last night, in a very unfortunate accident, i spilled water on Bruce. Bruce was injured, and i feared that he would not survive the night. i immediately administered first aid in the form of massive amounts of tissue to mop up the relatively huge amount of water that was spilled. it occured to me only five minutes after the accident to turn bruce upside down so as to let gravity do its job and let the water out.

suddenly, i see a discoloration on the screen. at this point, i still have not shut Bruce down. it is a water stain. on the LCD screen. and it is TRAPPED UNDER THE PLASTIC COVERING WHICH I HAVE NOT REMOVED. panicking, i frantically remove the tape and the plastic, managing a few hard pokes at the already damaged screen. it was too late: the screen was already dry to the touch, and there was a stain of discoloration (which, fortunately were just shades and not actual different colors).

with the help of tissue, cotton balls and cotton buds, i started a delicate procedure in a desperate attempt to remove water before there was any more damage. i shut Bruce down and try to pry up the keys of the keyboard. alas, i was only able to partially lift the enter key, and no more. so what i did was to tilt Bruce to one side and proceed to mop up the water trickling down (oh, gawd) with cotton buds and tissue. not content, i unscrewed what i could in the processor and fan area, as well as the battery. to my horror, i found remains of water there. however, i did not have enough courage to dismantle bruce completely to hunt out any other water puddles.

i tried to sleep, and after an hour and a half of trying, i was finally able to. and when i woke up the next morning, i was glad to find that classes were suspended. i did not check on bruce, afraid of what i will find.

in the afternoon, i finally got up enough guts to open bruce up. i was horrified to find that there was moisture on the keyboards. following mitzi's advice, i broke out the hairdryer and started drying.

i tried to turn Bruce on. after a couple of tries of nothing showing up on the screen (but at least i got my friends DVD out), the welcome screen came up. to my horror, i was not able to move the touchpad (although the USB mouse worked fine) or type anything on the keyboard.

however, i kept drying and i kept trying, at various intervals throughout the day. and i found that with each effort, Bruce was recuperating. no files were lost, and some letters stuck together when i typed, such as the T's, V's, and O's.

but hard work does pay off, and with a few dozen more tries on the keyboard, Bruce was getting the letters right.

what you see here was typed on Bruce's keyboard. sometimes, the equals button would stick, but then it starts to stick less and less. i could've used another computer to type this, but i used Bruce because i could. i believe.

Bruce still retains his battlescar from that incident on his LCD screen. the stain has not yet been removed. he will have a check up once the storm lets up and i can get to greenhills.

welcome back, Bruce.

i promise to take better care of you. especially since you are the sole keeper (were, actually, since i learned my lesson) of my thesis project and my flash projects.

taskeen's prayer

2004-08-25T16:29:00.000+08:00

Disturb us, O Lord
when we are too well-pleased with ourselves;
when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little
when we have arrived in safety because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, O Lord
when with the abundance of things we possess we have lsot our thirst for the water of Life;
when, having fallen in love with time, we have ceased to dream of Eternity;
and in our efforts to build the new earth have allowede our vision for the New Heaven to grow dim.
Stir us, O Lord
to dare more boldy
to venture on wider seas
where storms shall show Thy mastery
where losing sight of land
we shall find the stars
In the Name of Him who pushed back the horizons of our homes and invited the brave to follow Him,
Amen.

**********

i am so blown away. this is beautiful. i want this to be my mantra. maybe i should post it on my wall?

"i dare."

i want to be able to say that, and know that it's true.

i dare to pursue my dreams, but what are my dreams?

i have many dreams, sure, but i think i have to choose only two or three that really matter.

i just hope i'm brave enough to do them. i'm scared of failure, and that's probably why i haven't really dared to try. so that if i fail, i can say "well, it's not like i was really trying." and that is bad. that is cowardly. and that was me.

and i hope i say "was" truthfully. i don't want to be like that anymore. if i don't try, then let it be for the right reasons, like not being really interested. except that sometimes, it's hard to catch myself.

argh. please let me not be daunted by my fears. and go for the perfect try. please let me not be all talk.

tag!!! TAG!!!

2004-08-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

yay! i'm so proud of myself. haha. i know it's a small thing for all you flash geniuses out there, but hey, i'm proud anyway.

i made my own version of a tagboard in flash!!! WOOHOO!!! as of now, wala pang separation yung name and yung message, so it all just lumps together. tapos, i'm not sure that if you nav away from the page if the messages in the output box will be preserved. anyhoo, i'll worry about that later. it's not like this is a required project or anything. i was just curious if it could be done.

just click the red dot to tag. sorry maliit yung labas nya. haha.

pollution & transportation

2004-08-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

there is so much traffic nowadays and so many vehicles that have turned smoke belching into an art that breathing a lungful of air in EDSA (as many, many people do) could shorten your life by ... well, let's just say a lot.

really, it can be solved if we had a decent transportation system. one that wouldn't require us to put our lives in peril everytime we got on board. the LRT and MRT lines now are actually a big step, and i think it's great. traffic is actually not as bad as it used to be! now, if only jeeps and buses could be repaired and ORGANIZED, and the drivers become better drivers who follow the rules.

my philo teacher, Dr. Barbaza, told us that if he were ever to become head of the MMDA, the first thing he would do would be to revoke all the licenses of all the drivers in the country and then require them to pass a REAL, international standard drivers' test before he gave them back their licenses.

a very idealistic notion, and very good. it will, however, probably cause a revolution in the streets.

but imagine! a Philippines where people will not be afraid to take public transportation, where people don't have to breathe and then later die horrible deaths!

ok, i could go on and on, but i gotta do my thesis now.

hmmm...

2004-08-22T18:01:00.000+08:00

37-56. so less than 20 points. barely.

still, i guess la salle couldn't maintain, with the energy they put in in the first half.

anyway, i'm coming to terms with the loss. although the horrible memory of the 1st half (which, if i were for la salle, i would be so proud of), will stay with me.

please, please, please. *sigh*

the pain subsides ... a little

2004-08-22T17:55:00.000+08:00

score is 27-51. you'd think that's bad, but actually, it's a lot better than what was up kanina.

now it's 32-51!!! YAY!!!

anyway, tenorio gave a pretty big foul kanina. tenorio still hasn't score, i think, but he's been giving great assists, nonetheless. yay.

yay.

things are kinda heating up. there's a lot of friction between the two teams. oooooooh.

next post at the end of the third quarter? or maybe the end of the game na lang.

and the pain continues

2004-08-22T17:22:00.000+08:00

the end of the 1st half. 15-44.

oh my gawd. i didn't think it would be this bad. i mean, it's ok naman to lose, but ... damn ... NOT THIS BAD!!! NOT THIS WAY!!!

ow. am i missing something here?

15-44.

how we'll ever come back from this loss, i don't know. sana if we lose, we lose ... by less than 20 points.

believe? ah ewan.

sana, when the game ends, masasabi ko sa sarili ko: "oh ye of little faith."

sana.

pain

2004-08-22T17:05:00.000+08:00

pain. PAIN. definition: a score of 15-39. and the game ain't even over yet. OUCH.

oh man. oh man. that cardona... he's a killer. omg. nothing is connecting. this is PAINFUL.

... painful.

vingt

2004-08-19T02:58:00.000+08:00

i. am. twenty. beinte. vingt. two decades old.

and i am posting this after three hours of being twenty. heehee. it doesn't feel much different from being 19. but i guess it's really not a numbers game. you grow when you grow, whatever age you are. experiences, not birthdays, are what age you.

i cannot gauge myself. but happy birthday, me! and good luck! twenty. smile.

a new blogspace

2004-08-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

ok, initially i said that i wouldn't tell people yet about a new blogspace until i knew what happens after the 30-day trial period (day 1 being today). but it's really, really cool!!! i mean, seriously, it's so... EVERYTHING!!! although editing the template looks a bit tricky. *bleah* but so far, that's the only drawback that i've tried.

hmm... maybe i should try writing an article about the blogging lifestyle and blog spaces. i wonder if that's been done before. can anyone tell me?

the hidden mickey

2004-08-15T14:01:00.000+08:00

i used to LOVE finding the hidden mickey, but lately, they've been getting so desperate! take for example a bunch of grapes: that's NOT a hidden mickey! that's a bunch of circles!!!

reflections, reflections.

you can see whatever you want to see; you can interpret anything and everything in any way that serves your purpose. signs and symbols come from YOU, and your interpretation of them. a colon followed by a closing parenthesis is a smile. but you can say it's just a colon and a closing parenthesis.

i've got nothing against people who have to look for signs before they do something. if that's what they need to do what they have to do, then good for them, right? just don't over do it. besides, what they see is only what they want to see, so it serves their particular purpose.

find the hidden mickey.

i sound so ... wonkey today.
question: what do i say on a reaction paper on Insiang? do i have to connect it with history???

kurosawa, ithaca, and robert

2004-08-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

a couple of weeks ago, i had a very sabog blog about kurosawa. i think it's about time i posted what i really thought.

i've always been an advocate of the school of thought that says that you should enjoy every moment; live each moment as if it were THE moment, and not just a stretch of time before you get to the next moment. in the end, you'll have lived your life without regrets. unfortunately, i don't always practice what i preach.

in highschool, we read this poem called "Ithaca," by Constantine Cavey. Here's how it goes:

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,

pray that the road is long,

full of adventure, full of knowledge.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:

You will never find such as these on your path,

if your thoughts remain lofty,

if a fine emotion touches your spirit and your body.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,

if you do not carry them within your soul,

if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.

That the summer mornings are many, when,

with such pleasure, with such joy

you will enter ports seen for the first time;

stop at Phoenician markets,

and purchase fine merchandise,

mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

and sensual perfumes of all kinds,

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

visit many Egyptian cities,

to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.

To arrive there is your ultimate goal.

But do not hurry the voyage at all.

It is better to let it last for many years;

and to anchor at the island when you are old,

rich with all you have gained on the way,

not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has
given you the beautiful voyage.

Without her you would have never set out on the road.

She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived
you.

Wise as you have become, with so much experience,

you must already have understood what Ithacas
mean.

see what i mean? isn't it a beautiful poem? this, i think, embodies Kurosawa's own philosophy (judging from what Sir Brion said) of not hurrying, of savoring every moment. anything else i say about this poem will be redundant, because it says it so beautifully. this is what poetry (and great quotes, too) is for: to be able to say--and say beautifully--thoughts and ideas that are present in the human mind.

this evening, as i was watching living asia, they flashed this quote from robert louis stevenson:

For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go.

Wonderful. I think i share the same feelings myself. This is probably why i just want to GO. It's not that i'm not content where i am right now. I love my life as it is, but i don't want it to remain as it is. I don't know if i said that right.

*sigh*

until next time... i'm such a lazy blogger. pfft.

adventures, adventures

2004-08-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

i was just watching this really cool channel (cool for me, anyway) called Living Asia. I guess I could describe it as a travel channel. maybe.

anyway, just now i finished watching Carrera Habagat in Camiguin. it looked so hard but i SO wanted to join! i want to join Pundok Habagat, a sort of outdoor club. It says on the Habagat website that you need to join two of their activities before you can join, but i couldn't find out WHERE and WHEN these activities are going to be held! grrr. argh.

but before i can actually do any adventure racing, i need to be fit. which means a gym. hah. i need some discipline in my life, and i think this may be the way to go for me. discipline is VERY important in adventure racing. you snooze, you lose. so if i want to do it, then i gotta work my ass off. and keep up my school work at the same time. i don't think these two objectives will totally conflict, since keeping fit is going to help me cope with stress from school! so there. it all meshes well.

i got published!!!

2004-08-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

yeah, i know that i've known for months that i was gonna get published. i also knew when, and that people saw me (daniel from comm said he saw me in gadgets). however, it's really really different when you see yourself, your name, your articles RIGHT THERE.

it was so cool. i am sooooo happy! my first time to get published! la la la la la... ok, i just hope it won't be the last time.

should i try to submit that whole "searching for the perfect laptop" bit? i'm just worried cos i decided on twinhead, and i've noticed that none of the techie mags ever really mention twinhead for some reason (probably cos it's cheap?).

heehee.

i have absolutely no direction in my life.

the introspective nomad

2004-08-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

i changed the title of my blog. yes.

just for kicks. no, seriously, i simply decided it was time for a change, and the phrase "introspective nomad" described me perfectly.

i think too much about ... everything (i really hope that's not some sort of mental disorder). and lately, i've been thinking a lot about me thinking a lot about me (sick, but that's they way the world turns, i'm not kidding). and i came to the conclusion that while it's ok to "contemplate" (the quotation marks are because of philo), there comes a point when you pat yourself too many times on the back and it becomes vanity. other times, you worry so much about things you can't change. and a lot of time, you just find out a lot about yourself: which can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on whether or not you're honest with yourself.

see, the thing is, contemplating on one's life as plato recommends is good, but it won't work if you're not honest with yourself. i mean, it's not like you have to share your thoughts with the rest of the world! but the things that you find out can do you a world of good--if you act on them.

it's sounds really vain and self centered, but i'm my own observer, which means that i'm a harsh critic. because the thing is, although i find a lot of things to be desired in myself, i don't seem to do anything about them. i get caught up in other things, in procrastination. i hate to say it, but i'm kind of lazy and a coward.

so before you all hate me, let's move on to the second part of the description, which is NOMAD. i decided that it sounded better than wanderlust. i mean, yeah, wanderlust is my affliction, but ... it's been on the top of the page so long! i guess i'm not really a nomad, more like a nomad-wannabe. haha. i think i've explained my love of travel often enough, so i'll cut this blog short.

inbox = erased

2004-08-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

i accidentally erased my inbox this evening. don't ask me how.

so goodbye to all those christmas and new year messages that i was holding on to. goodbye to ... i don't even remember what i was holding on to. i guess it was a good thing that happened. now i have more space in my inbox, and that annoying "No More Space For New Messages" alert won't keep coming up.

i guess i had to let go of all that junk. i'm such a pack rat 'cos i guess i try to hold on to things. like the japanese. haha. prolonging the moment. (sorry, i came from Sir Brion's class and we watched Dreams).

___________________

Great Books is a wonderful, wonderful subject. i SWEAR!!! i mean, i was scared of sir brion at first cos everybody said he was scary, but now... i appreciate his class a lot. it's almost like i'm taking two philo classes (in which i also have a great teacher).

there was this segment in the movie where the people live in a water mill village, and there is no electricity. the dreamer asks the old man what they do at night about the dark, since there's no electricity. and the old man said "why can't the night be dark? that way we can see the stars better."

and i was just ... whoa. i have to say, i don't think that i would have really appreciated the film if sir brion didn't explain it to us. wow. oh and i always, always appreciate stuff where the central theme is living life and enjoying every moment, which is, as sir explained, how the japanese culture is. cool.

maybe my theo teacher is japanese. that class seems to go on forever that sometimes we think she warps time. jeez.

___________________

for some reason, i want to go out somewhere where i can scream and shout and just plain go crazy and nobody will mind. there's so much energy just ... stored up. none of those places exist near where i am.

chris is dead

2004-08-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

just been watching charmed, the season finale.... and... I'M SO SAD!!!

i've been such a ninny lately, crying over stuff. but... he's dead. dead even before he was born!!! agh. isn't that just ironic? and very very strange, too.

AGH. drew fuller is so hot.

seniors' page revisited

2004-07-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

uhm... i dunno what you guys are talking about, cos i tried the right click and save as tactic and it worked. save it on your pc. go on. it's perfectly safe.

but you don't have to...

the map

2004-07-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

many many thanks to taskeen for giving me the link to world66, which generated the maps that you see on the left.

the red areas are the places that i've been, and the dark gray areas are the places that i want to go (although i don't think you can see them). dang.

anyway, you can check out my world66 site. there's not much in it yet, but... anyway...

drifting...

2004-07-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

i feel so untethered, and not in a good way. i don't know what is, what was, who or what i am, or what i think or what i should think, feel or should feel.

i don't feel relevant or real. like i'm a non-person.

because i am a non-person, even if don't want to be. but i am.

evil incarnate

2004-07-25T14:18:00.000+08:00

theo teacher. nuff said.

a natural high

2004-07-25T13:54:00.000+08:00

the most wonderful natural high for me is plotting and planning all the fun places i'm going to go after i graduate and free from scholarly obligations.

i was such a geek last night, looking for apartments and jobs in new york, checking out the pictures and the prices (it's expensive! i never knew renting could be so expensive...), and the salaries of jobs i could get.

i've explained before this need for me to get out there. i love my family and the philippines and all, but i just want to experience a new, different life before i settle down here (because i do plan to settle here). and i want to do it while i'm young! anyway, i don't know if i can wait and have one year of experience here before i go flying off to another country. i've waited this long, haven't i? life's too short. if i can find a decent job in one of my dream places, i'll probably go.

just this morning i saw this movie, euro trip. it was a totally teeny movie, but ... they went all over europe!!! i was so jealous of them... anyway, they got cheap tickets to europe by becoming couriers: as in, they'd just deliver some packages when you get there--a VERY small price to pay for a cheap ticket. i mean, come on!!! anyway, i only wish they had those kinds of services in the philippines, although i doubt it!!!

when i leave (yes, "when." it makes it more real to me. heck, it is real to me), i am really really going to miss my friends and family. i only hope that people won't cut me out of their lives just because i won't be seeing them for a while. gah. argh.

tonight, i research on hawai'i. tomorrow, italy!

(as soon as i finish snow country and my thesis requirements, of course)

AN EXPLAINATION FOR MY SENIOR'S PAGE

2004-07-21T23:56:00.000+08:00

1. right click on the link
2. choose "save target as"
3. click open or save. up to you.
4. enjoy. :)

sorry for the hassle! hehe. guess i should've explained earlier.

dunno how to embedd the flash kasi eh. someone show me how!!!

the end of friends

2004-07-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

i just finished watching the last episode of friends, and i must say, i never EVER expected to cry while watching friends. i mean, how can you cry in that show?!

apparently, it is possible. dear gawd, those last two episodes were just... sad!!! and can i just say how sad it is that joey never ends up with anyone at all?! i guess that is what his character dictates...

anyway, i was crying at the thought of never seeing a new episode of friends... EVER. it's just been so much fun, this past decade. and i know when you say decade it sounds like a long time, but i guess friends never really got old with me. i know a lot of people say the humor is shallow and stuff, but i really couldn't care less. i had fun watching that show, and that's what's important. wow, i just realized this show started when i was 10 years old!!! washafasha!!! that was a long time ago!!!

i love friends, and i'm happy i got to watch the shows. but i'm really bummed that they're never making new episodes anymore. they're gonna be like cheers or something, where they show reruns and stuff. oh gawd.

i would have really really loved to have seen a taping of the show, but ... gah. that's quite a lot to ask for. wow. 10 years. it was just so sad to see the show end. but hello! they did have to end sometime. it's great that they ended at this point, actually, and not when they've milked it for all it's worth and people don't like the show anymore. it had to end sometime.

agh. just like college. but i will NOT go down that road for another 7 months. i just know i'll turn into a human faucet in march. gah. i'm such a baby.

so i don't just love friends. i love my friends, too.

wow. was that cheesy or what?

what the heck, it's true.

i am a slaaaaaaaave

2004-07-20T01:54:00.000+08:00

ok, so maybe i'm not really a slave, but i did "slave over" my senior's page. i mean, OMG. ang kulit ko kasi. hindi pa ako tinamad. bagkus, ginanahan pa ako. so ngayon, puyat ako, masakit ang likod, at feel ko magkaka-carpal tunnel syndrome na ako. tapos hassle pa ilagay sa diskette dahil walang floppy drive ang laptop ko. ARGH!!! buti na lang, angel si chattie, she's gonna print out my stuff for me (yes, walang ink ang printer ko. can anything else go wrong?!).

anyway, here's the link to my senior's page:

http://us.f1f.yahoofs.com/bc/3f8aec49_174f3/bc/aegis/IS-TE012865S.SWF.swf?bftQB_ABeZdd6CRW

aegis hassles

2004-07-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! i'm going crazy.

it's 10pm and i haven't really done anything with my aegis requirements. at first i wanted a flash presentation, but... omg, i'm so friggin lazy already!!!

bahala na. come what may. i might just cram this in school.

to do:
-photocopy snow country (although i think mau's gonna take care of that for me)
-buy history text book
-find out if we have to do anything for theo
-buy diskettes for aegis stuff

oh yeah. josh has a blog.

job jobs

2004-07-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

ok. i have a lot of blog topics that i have to write, and many more required readings to do.

HOWEVER, right now, at this moment, i am plunked down in front of the TV and watching gameplan. I've thought this before, but i want it down in writing: I WANT AKIKO AND CARLO AND TRISHA AND ROVILSON'S JOBS. that is my DREAM JOB. i mean, imagine travelling all over the philippines, going on all sorts of adventures (tonight they're in Cagayan de Oro, doing all sorts of fun fun fun things in the rapids). I mean, oh my gawd. they're getting paid to do that and then talk about it. MOMMY!!!!

if only...

by the by, blogger's new interface is, again, wonderful

with guest stars
and the special appearance of	o

we broke the streak!!!

2004-07-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

la salle has never lost an opening game since 1987... until TODAY!!! and it was Ateneo who broke that streak!!! HAHA!!! that was soooo sweet.

magnum and LA rocked! LA's pass to intal and... uhm... i forgot... basta -- was the absolute rocking best. magnum naman, excellent rebounding!!! he got those offensive rebounds!!!

jv casio was the eagle killer for today-- you gotta give it to the guy. he made excellent steals and made them work. basta. galeeeeeng. so was yeo, at first, but then he got so cocky in the end. (mwehehehe)

it was a fairly clean game, so i'm happy. and i was SO expecting ateneo to collapse in the fourth quarter. but NO, that's when we caught up pa nga!!! isn't that great?! so we've overcome our weakness!!! WAHOOOO!!!

anyway...

i've vegged out most of the weekend. last night, i was a total couch potato... as in the WHOLE NIGHT. i watched, among other things, america's next top model; hotshots (starring hotter than hot dead guy raymond lauchengco); clueless; big fat liar.

*whew*

and not an ounce of work has been done! aw man, i am so gonna feel the pain this week. payback! speaking of pain, my body has been through some lately, due to the purchase of a cheap hula hoop that i bought in subic in the hope that i will acquire some abdominal muscles through its continued use.

speaking of subic, i skipped my friday classes to go there. hee hee. it was totally worth it, since i saw this really nice waterfall place called el kabayo there. wahoo! plus, it was a fun day of relaxation, although the trip was hellish in its length. eew.

a blogging addiction

2004-06-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

my friends, rache and bloo, are currently addicted to their blogging. as for myself, i'm simply way too lazy. besides, it's not like anybody really drops in. i have lots of ideas of things that i want to write, but it seems like i never have the time: there's always a good book or show waiting for me or else i have to do something for school.

one other reason is that i rarely have very strong opinions about things, and when i do, they're mostly about myself (take this entry for example). i'm quite an introspective person, and i don't do so well in social situations that are not among total strangers (yes, i feel more comfortable with total strangers sometimes). besides, most of the things that i think of about myself are way too personal to share with the world!

i used to love blogging, back when i had a sturdy website to support it. now, the website still stands, but it's a ruin. and i mean ruin as in an abandoned old place that nobody goes to for fear of a mumu jumping out to get you. *sigh*

so now, it's just the occassional post, when i feel like it. and fortunately, i feel like it now.

call me materialistic, but...

2004-06-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

... if you were offered at least PhP50K (at the very least, according to one source) for every day that you are inconvenienced because people need to be in your house and arrange your stuff, wouldn't you jump at the chance?

hell, they can stay a week for all i care. lemme see... how do i measure the days? in minutes? hours? or nay, in laptops? mushasha (a very strange person told me this is the evil way to laugh. weird, but it has a nice sound to it, doncha think?).

i wonder what else i'll have to give up and how inconvenienced we will be...

Smaller and Smaller Circles

2004-06-20T18:15:00.000+08:00

I just bought Smaller and Smaller Circles by F. H. Batacan. I saw it in Powerbooks, saw the three gold stickers posted on its cover boasting of the awards it has received. Intrigued, I read the blurb on the back and found that it was actually a very interesting book. It claims to be "unique in the Philippine literary scene," and sounds like it too. It's a Pinoy detective novel with a Jesuit forensic anthropologist as the sleuth. Sounds good, huh? Can't wait to read it. Oh but first i have to read those great books books. Oh momma.

If you have read this, drop me a line and tell me what you think of it. Just don't give me any spoilers!!!

Yahoo! for Yahoo!

2004-06-19T02:05:00.000+08:00

just recently, yahoo increased the mailbox size from 4 to 6Mb (depending on how long ago you signed up). now, they give us 100Mb mailboxes! but that is not the only thing that yahoo has been working on. they also have better features for all their sites. now, i haven't looked at everything yet, but what i've seen has made me VERY happy.

you can now SYNCHRONIZE your MS Outlook Calendar, Tasks, Contacts, and Notes with Yahoo!'s similar services, simply by downloading Intellisync (which started with a synchronization manager for Palm) for Yahoo! Be aware, though, of the perils of synchronization, or you'll end up with deleted or duplicated items if you're not careful!

the implications of this service?
1. you'll have an easier time inputting items in Outlook, since you don't have to wait for pages to load every time you need to add or modify something.
2. you can look it up wherever you are!
3. if you have a laptop, you can effectively synchronize these Outlook features with your desktop.
4. with yahoo!'s cool new features, you have the option of letting your friends modify your calendar (so you can make it into your own group thing) or keeping it all to yourself.
5. it is just perfect for taking notes in class (i am daydreaming about owning a laptop right now) in the wi fi-ed buildings and then putting it in the notes page... then syncing it with yahoo! for back up...

bottomline: yahoo! doesn't seem to be slowing down any. stick with it.

in an aegis panic!

2004-06-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

i need a creative pose! quick!!! oh and give me one sentence that you think describes me.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

the hunt

2004-06-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

school has started, and i am left feeling like i need a laptop to cope with the work that i have to do this year. and for a senior student like me with a thesis involving manipulating multimedia programs, i pretty much have a concrete idea of what i want:

1. 12.1" display - this means that it won't be such a pain to lug around school, since i don't plan on leaving it anywhere, not even in my locker.

2. intel centrino 1.4 GHz processor - anything less is shitty (pardon my language), especially when you're working with flash and stuff like that. besides, this means that besides being fast (it's equivalent to a 2.4 P4), it also won't heat up so quickly, which is what Athlon, its cheaper counterpart, does.

3. a dvd combo drive - do i need a reason? ok, ok. so i can watch my pirated DVD movies. fine! you caught me!

4. built in wi-fi capabilty - since the school went wi-fi as are many other places, around the city, this is going to come in very handy. the built in ones are more stable than the USB or PC Card variety, and it's more practical to buy it together anyway.

the negotiables:

video adapter:
i prefer the ATI Radeon 9000 (at the very least sana) 128Mb, more than anything else. this would give me enough juice to edit videos! however, this is negotiable, since i can do it in my desktop. i don't have a pressing need to edit videos on the spot, so i don't see this as a major drawback. i'm just... wistful.

HDD Memory:
the standard 40Gb would be preferrable, but i can take it down as far as 20. again, this is because i can just transfer anything i need to keep on my desktop or else just burn it and archive it! the problem is that i won't be able to put as much programs in it as i want if i go for 20. so maybe i have to hitch up my minimum to 30? well, i probably should, especially if i have to store any videos and pictures that i need to use for projects.

the hunt!

although it sounds easy when you have a definite criteria already, it's apparently not common for 12.1" notebooks to have both centrino and ATI. i've scouted the brands, and although quite a few have centrino on the 12 inchers, none--and i mean NONE--have ATI onboard. they usually have the intel extreme graphics and similar others, but no ATI. i can have ATI if i am willing to take a 14-incher, but ... that's the whole point of a laptop, isn't it?! i know 14 inches isn't really a lot to take, but it's a long way from 12, believe me.

in the process of my search, i have seen some pretty cool stuff, like sony's funky new VGN-U50. this baby is a bit awkward, but the size just blows your mind. you've gotta see it to believe it. it has a 5.0" SVGA TFT display and a 20Gb hard disk. however, it operates on a 900MHz celeron processor. the thing is, this baby rocks in mobility and portability--you can take it out of it's cradle (which connects you to a foldable keyboard) and use it tablet PC style. not powerful enough for much multimedia and you have to buy a CD drive separately, but if portability is what you need, then this is IT. i mean, it packs everything a laptop does except that it comes in something around twice the size of a large PDA (boxy, i know). the screen is so small, however, that you have to keep scrolling to see the whole screen. however, you have to give credit to sony for the effort. a little refinement in design is all it needs for it to be an absolute knockout. and oh yeah, i recommend a diet too, it needs a lot of slimming!

another sony product that caught my eye is the PCG-U1, which somehow reminds me of the sony clie PEG-UX50. it has a 6.4 inch XGA TFT display (not much bigger that the U50, huh?) and runs on 867MHz crusoe TM5800 and a 20Gb hard disk. not much juice there, for sure, but if all you need is to type some papers and surf the net, then i say "why not, choc nut?!" unfortunately, i have to say "no" to this because, simply, it does not fit my needs (i wish it did, though). it has ATI Radeon, yes, but with only 8Mb to work with, it just won't fly. besides, it doesn't have wi-fi built in (although there is a PC Card slot...). the biggest tempation, though is the size and the weight (0.82 kg!!!).

fujitsu's P1120 was also a tempation in the portability category, as it has an 8.9" widescreen LCD monitor and weights 0.9kg. it runs on practically the same processor as the U1. it wins over it, however, by having wi-fi built in and a 30Gb hard disk drive and it's cheaper than the U1 even though it has better features. and that's sony's problem. they make beautiful hardware, but what's inside doesn't compete well with its peers. you'd have to be a big fan of sony (which i am, but you don't see me wasting any money on their laptops) to fall for their designs.

the prey!

after having described some of the things that i wish i had enough money to just buy without them meeting most of my requirements, i was able to narrow it down to two contenders: the ASUS S5 and Twinhead's Efio! E12B. Both meet my minimum requirements (although Twinhead's display is XGA) and are matched in practically every way. the catch? the S5 is priced at PhP90,288 but has a slimmer, sleeker look and is only 1.35kg. the E12B, at only PhP69,888, is not as pretty with a rather industrial look -- not sleek at all, but only weighting in at 1.8kg. it's not that big a difference, but their looks say it all.

my problem now is vanity versus frugality. oh momma! that's more than PhP20,000 to spend for looks and a little extra weight! no matter what i decide, however, i'm in good hands, for sure.

tomorrow, which is today

2004-06-14T02:18:00.000+08:00

i guess it's today, since it's almost 2am (it's actually 1.59am on my clock). insomnia kicked in after my bout of sickness drove me to bed as early as 10pm last night.

i couldn't keep up the whole soap opera theme, which was why this blog has been so bare. the thought of posting such a long entry again kept me away. i'm not known for my patience, anyway, so why start? let others have that.

anyway, i've become interested in making my own site again. i know "sampung mga daliri" is still mine, technically, but that site hasn't been updated in YEARS!!! but chattie's little project, though simple, has ... reawakened the urge, especially since i saw what bravenet has to offer (my gawd, they have calendars and all that jazz). but i've always been meticulous about my ideas. i mean, i really want a good solid theme that's not only visually appealing but also represents me. a tall order, for sure, and probably not one that you'd expect from a slacker like me. which is why the website never got updated--no new ideas, and if there were any, i'd get too lazy to start. hrmph.

now i'm in the mood, and what's lacking is the idea. i've got one, sort of: a blueprint sort of design. but WAIT! i have a problem with the images and stuff. and isn't it too minimalistic? i don't know... give me suggestions for ideas.

anyway, found hp3 better but disappointing. i don't want to talk about it. ESPECIALLY not that last shot of harry. agh. stop.

dawn of the dead. such a stupid movie, but kinda fun to watch, actually. i think it's a good thing that they didn't explain anything. it makes it less scary, although you wouldn't be able to tell that from the way jing's and my arm were in lack of circulation through most of the movie.

ok. so now on to tomorrow, which is actually today.
SCHOOL'S STARTING!!! i'm excited but very scared.
let's leave it at that. all this typing has me tired. but sleepy? I WISH!!!

a day at the mall

2004-06-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

with guest stars	and the special appearance of
jing rachelle mau blooey	ate nora josh yada

EXT.OUTSIDE McDO KATIPUNAN

tin just got her regform, and is now in her van to mcdo when she gets a call on her phone. it's jing, asking the star of the show to haul her stuff to a new condo in prince david. she agrees, being the wonderful friend that she is, and helps jing drag her plastic cabinet from mrs. field's to the fifteenth floor of prince david. tin expresses interest in the condo, and was happy to hear that the other tenants might accept a sixth roomie. "it's a little crowded," she thinks, "but at less than 4,000 a month, it's a great opportunity!"

INT. McDO KATIPUNAN

she goes on to have breakfast in mcdo with rachelle, mau, and blooey.
as friends are when they haven't seen each other in a long time, they talked, laughed, and shed some tears of joy. she thinks "i missed my friends! except for mau. why is she always here?! oh well."

ATENEO

they all go back to school, where tin drops off mau and blooey at the covered courts while she, rachelle, and jing get their advisement slips. when she got to the IS department, she is disappointed to find that Ate Nora has not yet been able to fix her and mau's grades, and urges her to check with xander. "NOOOOOOO!!!" she screams in her head. "this whole stupid mixed-up grade fiasco is driving me crazy with frustration! a pox on ateneo and all it's staff and students except me!"
the trio walks in the rain towards kostka, and see joshua there. and behind him is a girl, who josh introduces as yada. the gang exchanges knowing glances, and wag their eyebrows at josh. inside, they are all thinking "oooohhhh! is this the girl that josh is going to marry? naks!" mau and blooey get there, and they also wag their eyebrows. everybody gets in the van, and after dropping off josh and yada, proceed to robinson's east. "that place again?! we're always there!" was tin's reaction. mau insists that it's the company that counts, but the rest all contradict her, in our usual crazy way.

INT.ROBINSON'S EAST

the girls have watched most of the movies (it's summer. what do you expect?) and think that the rest are crap. which is why they ended up on a five-hour shopping trip.

BLACKOUT.

[every detail of the shopping trip will not be mentioned here. this is a thirty-minute soap opera, not a stupid epic.]

FADE IN. ARTWORK

the star and guest stars look at every shirt for girls in the store. the result is that they all end up buying one shirt. our bida, however, manages to get a very cute shirt that lacks a strong statement. to cover up, she announces "it is art that is open to interpretation. it speaks to your very soul. to me, it says 'don't anger dogs.' what does it say to you?"

FADE OUT
FADE IN. 99 PESO STORE

there are a bunch of hats on sale. everyone tries one and gets her picture taken amidst the glares of the salespeople as none of them bought anything.

FADE OUT.
FADE IN. FRIO MIXX

the girls are having fun and eating their lunch when a snobby waitress tells blooey and mau to please stop eating their food, which is not from frio mixx. this, aside from the fact that her portion of pasta is miniscule, pushes tin to vow "i will never eat in this branch again!"

FADE OUT.
FADE IN. ROBINSON'S DEPARTMENT STORE

being mean she-devils, mau and tin poke fun at the collection of the department store.

FADE OUT.

follow the adventures of our heroine. don't miss an episode!

next, on Wanderlust...

tin is about to watch harry potter at alabang. will it live up to her expectations?

2004-05-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

get me outta here! (12nn)

Putek. The major sponsor is trust. Thats right. Dang!
Im too young for this! Theyve got a band called climax
on stage! Girls vying for a title are crowding around
... People ... To get their votes, which are obtaind
by putting stickers on them. And the ... People ...
Are making the most of d votes, of course. Kill me
now. At least d music is wholesome and d food is free.
Still, the musics freakishly loud, you can fry an egg
on my head, and d people are annoyingly crowded in the
sparse shade.
mercy!

I forgot to mention that big, old and loud men seem to be hitting on the girls. While im eating my lunch. Wel, gues what? While i was munching on d freebies, one of em started shaking his massive booty... Right in front of my face. Wow. Buti nlang that was my last bite. Dang.

second thoughts (230pm)

Hey! I get to watch some f3 racing, the ... people are
... Away ... So i gues im having fun! Not super fun,
bt ok fun. Ãœ however, i am convinced that at least
half the people here are ... Users ... The music is
deafening that u have to shout to be heard, meaning
that youl burst ur eardrums having a convo. Most
people are keeping quiet, bt some ... People ...
Insist on being ... Themselves ... Haha. Wel, another
race is starting. The camera im testing is pretty much
useles . And i hav only my 16Mb memstick with me. Its
a sad life. Haha.

shrek 2

2004-05-26T10:46:00.000+08:00

i looove shrek 2. i shall edit this post later to add further opinions on this topic. in the meantime, my brain is too dead to produce anything worthy to be read. this is mau's fault. ZzZzZ. kidding. it's entirely my fault. SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! i need sleep!

photoblogging!!!

2004-05-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

so fun!!! ang galing!!! hello rocks!!! i mean... unlimited photo hosting! huwaw. i'm in love.

expect more pics!!!

2004-05-26T01:53:00.000+08:00

von eating isaw? hehehehe

2004-05-26T01:51:00.000+08:00

isaw@UP!!!

2004-05-26T01:47:00.000+08:00

our assoc ed, seducing a coke bottle

2004-05-26T01:46:00.000+08:00

our work at gadgets magazine. that's nick with the whip.

2004-05-26T01:45:00.000+08:00

the photoshoot, seen from my camera...

2004-05-26T01:44:00.000+08:00

kate, von, and marley!

2004-05-26T01:43:00.000+08:00

working to get an angle...

2004-05-26T01:41:00.000+08:00

von (one of my bosses), and our june cover model, gayle.

mini golfing

2004-05-25T14:40:00.000+08:00

i had a new experience yesterday! and to think that i almost didn't go.

migs and coco picked me up from the office yesterday and we played mini golf in the fort beside dencio's. wahoo! it was coolness. i mean, i wasn't good at it (i came in last). and though i'm usually very competitive, the game was just so fun that i didn't mind so much.

it's just that sometimes... the stupid ball just won't go in!!! i mean, it would graze the side of the hole or go inside but go out again... AUGH!!!

still, it was fun. i always thought that golf was the most BORING game. i mean... it's just pointless, really. but mini golf seems about just right. you can goof around and not be serious and have fun. provided that you find frustration in general fun! hehe. well, it is, sometimes.

so there. try it.

riding with shungak

2004-05-24T13:46:00.000+08:00

i just had the MOST fun car ride.

chattie, mau, and i had lunch at dencio's, right in front of mau's office building. we were going home, chattie and i, so we went to edsa, following mau's directions. now, if you know the quezon city area, then you'd know we came out right near the GMA Network building. but we weren't supposed to cross EDSA at that point. we should cross at the next intersection.

however...

we were so absorbed in our conversation and the heat and the music. we were on the inside of the highway, on the way up the bridge when chattie said "tin, aakyat ba tayo ng bridge?" i said "No!" but duh, by then it was too late. oh dear. then we went past TWO more intersections where we could have made a u-turn. i was hilarious by that time.

finally, we made a u-turn at crame, at santolan.

so we were cruising, and we were more careful to look out for our turn. i saw it, so i pointed at it.

tintin: o, chattie. gilid ka na dito, dito na tayo mag-right
chattie: shungak! NEPA-Q pa lang yan, di ba lumagpas tayo? dun pa tayo.

so of course we went up the bridge.

chattie: ay! diba GMA na yun?

we were on top of the bridge, passing the GMA building on our left.

tintin: oh. my. god. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

it was THAT funny. when we got down the bridge, we turned on the next corner there, and just went by feel, towards the direction of our offices. and what do you know, we got there without any further problems!!! yay!!!

2004-05-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

i haven't been to rockwell in the longest time, but i went last night with my officemates. and... i saw the coolest bookstore in the philippines!!! oh yes, even better than powerbooks, it has titles that i've heard of but not seen. it has variety, the books have better covers (philip pullman's the golden compass was awesome!!! my copy... well... reeks in comparison. :( ).
i also saw a new cover of ella enchanted... with anne hathaway on it!!! freaky! apparently, they've already made it into a movie. so when is it coming out here?! i loved ella enchanted, but i want to see what they did with it in the movie. and will they make gail carson levine's other books into movies, too?

hmmm...

as i was saying: i saw a book of diana wynne jones' there. a title that i haven't even heard of (i think?). it's called the merlin conspiracy. i'll let you know how that goes. i started it already, and i'm wondering if it's a chrestomanci novel cos it's talking about mulitverses and such again.

oh and another surprise for me was when we went to watch the tail end of the admu game the other day, i saw that scholastic (the publishing company) had a book fair there. right at the entrance of the blue eagle gym. wow! i saw that the animorphs were on sale for 30 pesos!!! omg! i bought 5 books. cheap of me. dapat tinodo ko na. who knows when i'll see the fair again?! and guess what? one of the books i bought, it turns out i already have it. :( WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

that's it for today, i think. gotta go fix my room. hrmph. my parents are on my case about it again.

lisensya

2004-05-19T14:58:00.000+08:00

i got my license today.

...

and i am very sleepy now.

...

survivor all-stars

2004-05-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

wow. i just watched the weirdest, most emotional survivor ever.

and then...

boston rob proposed to amber before the votes were read! so the question is... (sorry, i really can't help being a bit suspicious) did rob ask amber because he thought there was a better chance of amber winning?

in my opinion, i seriously don't think so, no matter how rob played the game. i really honestly believe that rob loves amber (and the same goes the opposite way). and it would've been worse if rob asked her AFTER the votes were read (unless he was the one who won).

but... wow. the finale really blowed my mind. survivor really brings out human nature, i guess. good and bad.

more on earthsea

2004-05-13T10:26:00.000+08:00

i think i should take what i said earlier back. or maybe just improve on my statement.

le guin's prose is not as poetic as tolkien's, but it's as lyric, i think. she is one great writer, and i find it kind of sad that not as many people appreciate her. i guess it's ok with me, cos then she won't be so hyped up and all. but still, hers is the kind of work that should be shared.

i'm aroun 30 pages short of finishing tehanu right now, and i'm getting ready to buy the other wind later. i must say, of the four books i've read so far, tehanu is the most ambiguous, and i don't know what to make of some of the conversations i've encountered. still, i love it, and i was horrified to read the blurb of the other wind because it hinted at something that i haven't gotten to (but guessed at--still!!!) in tehanu.

i know ALL (or maybe just most?) of you people reading this can't relate, but... well, i guess i'm really just writing all this for me.

earthsea

2004-05-12T11:37:00.000+08:00

i really wonder sometimes how come harry potter is so famous and has all these movie deals while Sparrowhawk and the inhabitants of Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea saga remain... quiet. there is a following, to be sure, but never that much noise.

Ursula K. Le Guin's writing is so rich. Her prose, in style, is not "whoa" material like tolkien, but great just the same. there are so many levels of meaning in her writing. so many ideas and truths come out in the dialogue. she reminds me of madeleine l'engle in the way she brings out what she means to say. but... for some reason le guin is thicker soup, if you know what i mean.

her meaning, her story, is woven into the characters and their history and all that is and was earthsea. they form a solid message to the reader.

prince of persia

2004-05-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

does anyone remember the prince of persia? i'm just curious. i just remembered, cos i saw a poster of it in data blitz. it looks so spruced up and cool now, but it used to be in black and white and all two dimensional!!!

it was the first computer game i ever played, i think. hmmm... although i don't remember if supermario came first. well, to be specific, it was the first pc game of its kind i ever played (cos i played that frog crossing thing).

well, that's it. was just reminiscing.

on a different note, i just saw a great movie entitled "the spanish apartment." i dunno if it's just me who thinks it's cool, though. pero i really loved what he did. lived way away for a year. galeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng. i would love to do that. i want to live in barcelona after i live in hawaii. hehehe.

freaky dreams

2004-05-11T15:55:00.000+08:00

i've always had freaky dreams, but they've mostly been freaky dreams of the weird sort. today, in my post-elections sleep, i had freaky dreams of the scary sort.

dream 1 (although i'm not sure the dreams weren't related)
... I, or one of the characters in the dream (i never know who i am in my dreams), was in the shower, and her sister was outside the stall. (oh my god, i'm getting freaked out just writing this. help!!!)
anyway, her sister was wearing some colorful blazer with a matching skirt, while she was in the shower--yes, you guessed it--naked. then she was talking to her sister, and then asking her to get her stuff from the sink. and then the sister inside the shower (she can see her sister in the mirror from where she was standing) happened to glimpse around the small (very small) bathroom, and realized that the only place
(ok, i'm back. i had to run out of the room before i could finish that sentence. there's only me and manang in the house right now!!!)
...the only place she could see her sister was in the mirror. she started screaming and panicking, and as is typical, i felt all that terror and panic. the sister was going "why? what's wrong? what's up?" and the other sister just kept screaming. she finally gets the door open, rushes out.
her family sees her (they were all drawn to the bathroom with all the screaming) asks what's wrong and she points to the bathroom. there was her sister on the floor, dead. (kinda makes no sense, considering. but there it is)

now you can understand why i was so freaked to take a shower earlier, even in broad (or maybe just slightly overcast) daylight.

dream 2 to follow later. gotta get some movies back to the video store.

the new blogger

2004-05-11T06:47:00.000+08:00

by the way, i looooove the new blogger.

and i'm so thankful that we didn't have any major problems in our precincts and voting center. i mean, i'm hearing all these horrible stories in the news. freaky. they're not all that far from us. whew.

thank god we were safe. i don't think guns are very exciting. especially when i'm on the receiving end.

the elections

2004-05-11T06:27:00.000+08:00

i just got back from my namfrel volunteer stint in quezon city, and right now i'm parked here in front of the TV, watching abs-cbn's coverage of the elections.

anyway, from what i saw in my voting center, FPJ was leading by a lot. however, abs-cbn's operations center says that GMA is leading by less than 3000 votes. oh jeeeeez. i was so freaked by the results in my voting center... yech.

anyway, i just heard julius babao and his woman partner say that namfrel will be able to give the results by the end of the week because of the texting thing. guess what i was screaming at the TV? "HINDI NGA!!! PALPAK NGA!!! NOBODY GOT TO TEXT!!!" ayun... because that's precisely what happened, at least in my voting center. didn't get a chance to ask about the rest of quezon city when i got to ateneo at 530am. nde ko na naisip, i was just so tired. actually, i'm tired now.

but yun. apparently there was a shooting incident (to cause electrical failure, not to kill, at least) in marikina, and a lot of the voting centers' fuses blew because of overload. thank god that didn't happen to us. there were too few fans in trinity anyway...

i think i'll just write my first impressions of the elections as a volunteer right now. very rough, yes, but maybe i'll get them organized later. we'll see. i'm too lazy and too sleep-deprived to get them into any sensible order...

mau and i got assigned to the eight precincts of barangay damayang lagi which were "separated" from the rest. however, i think i prefer to use the term "segregated," cos it's kinda obvious na yung mga taga-rolling hills lang yung nag-vote there. sorry talaga for the criticism. but i guess it's ok because the covered courts at trinity were really crowded as it was. anyway, mau and i got separated from the rest of the group, and despite the fact that we had less precincts to take care of and there were less voters there, WE STILL FINISHED WAY LAST. can you believe that??? i'll not go into it. it's too painful for me, and for the other people too. let's just say that there was a slug in the garage who moved faster than those last two precincts. but i'm not one to judge--it's all relative, as they say. their job is really difficult, i know, and kind of a lot depends on those tally sheets. but so many of the others didn't take half as long!!!

and given that they all took so long, there were still so many errors, missing data, discrepancies, missing thumbprints and whatnot that you sometimes wonder what was going through their heads and if they even knew the procedures. and wait--should these tally sheets and election returns be deemed valid??? because we're pretty sure that they didn't include those other things in the other election returns (like the one that goes back to the comelec). and it would kind of defeat the purpose to invalidate those precincts.

but oh man... it was stress. everyone was stressed. i guess we weren't as stressed as the people who were actually counting the ballots (that's a whole different level of hell), but we were pretty stressed ourselves. and now i have a headache. ouch.

i hope i don't have to go in to the office today... :(

2004-05-07T16:09:00.000+08:00

it's 4pm and i'm in the office. for some reason, the PCs here have seemed to acquire a virus that makes them shut down. i think this is the same virus i had before.

anyhoo.

i'm tired. because of the red dot. grrrrrrr...

anyway, i'm even too tired to write anything sensible, so i'll stop.

...

2004-05-05T16:29:00.000+08:00

so the interview thing went better than expected.

kate (that's the name of the person i'm under) just asked me why i wanted to intern at gadgets anyway even though i'm not required to. so i told her that when cux mentioned to me that i still might get in as an intern, i grabbed the chance cos i really like their magazine (actually, theirs and summit's T3).

then she was saying, "you're a techie, right?" and i was like, "yeah... i guess." and then she asked me what stuff i own (i love my P9, but i hate the fact that the res is only 2.0Mp). gawsh. then she asked me to write a "parade" write-up, which is a quick rundown of the specs of an item without being too obvious about it. so there. i was soooo nervous about writing that thing. oh man, you will not believe it. it's easy, yeah, but still, you feel like your stock hangs in the balance. hehe.

anyway, i'm more relaxed about the whole thing now. the office has a lot of really fun people. not at all hard to get along with them. they're super nice over there, and it's a plus that i already know a couple of people. kate even said that if all goes well, i might get a stint there as a regular contributor after the internship thing (yay me!).

anyway, i watched confessions of a teenage drama queen... adam garcia is still cute, but ... the whole story line sucks, basically. it's just... the same old thing, only maybe a little worse. lindsay lohan's character seems a bit pathetic, to be absolutely straight to the point. i mean, she starts crying when nobody would believe that she went to the party. like that's such a big problem. it would've been fine if the movie ended after the finale of the play, but noooooo... they had to go and get adam garcia to return her necklace just to prove that she was, after all the humiliation, telling the truth. hmmmm... i dunno. maybe i'm being too harsh, though. i'll think on it.

i'm happy.

i got an interview!!!

2004-05-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

oh my gawd.

sheeeeeeeeeeet.

i feel nauseous. SEROUSLY nauseous. i got an interview for gadgets magazine, tomorrow at 1pm. I wanna cry. I'm seriously freaked, like i don't even want to go through with it anymore. i think i have a problem with my self-esteem. oh my god, i blab when i'm nervous. i go on and on and on. oh nooooooooo... i really hope that that doesn't happen tomorrow. MY MOM AND DAD AREN'T HERE!!! who am i supposed to turn to now for support and advice?! I need my MOM!!! that doesn't mean i'm being a baby--it's just that... duh, my mom's an HR director. she hires people for a living (or as part of a living, anyway). she should know what i'm supposed to do!!!

i am freaking out big time. oh my god. i dunno what to do. i should relax. BUT HOW??? i'm so scared. i hope you don't think i'm a wuss if i say i'm dangerously close to both hurling and tears. dang. i had a good lunch pa naman. now it all feels like there's an earthquake in there. and it's not even tomorrow yet.

see, i have a reason to be scared: i don't do so well in interviews. i totally bombed the TNT interviews back in my sophomore year. i kept on going around in circles and i couldn't look the interviewer straight in the eye. i guess this time, my strength of will HAS to pull me through, or else. i mean, i really really want this. and i can't have it if i don't do well. ergo, i have to find a way--come hell or high water--to make it through this interview.

what do i do?! what do i wear?!
TELL ME SOMEBODY PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!

gadgets, etc.

2004-05-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

about wander girl (jing reminded me kase): cool lang, pag-open ko nung book, there was the definition of wanderlust a cool quote. bigla ko naisip "hanep! ako ba nagsulat nito?!" hehe. kidding. astig lang.

ANYWAY. i hope matuloy yung laguna, but the number of people available seems pretty low! jeez! tapos, i might not be available myself, because...

no, i'm sorry, you didn't guess correctly. it's because i applied for an internship at gadgets magazine (is this a dream come true or what?!). i really really hope i get accepted even if i have absolutely no idea of what the job entails or what's going to happen.

ganito kasi yun... as a faithful geek, i got overly excited when i heard that there was going to be a tech fair at megamall ("the latest gadgets!"), so i went. apparently, it wasn't really anything to get excited about since the exhibit was miniscule and ... let's just say it wasn't very exciting. however, two very good things came out of my trip.

1. cux saw me, and told me that she was an intern at gadgets. jealous, i asked her how. she said "i applied." damn it! it was soooo simple i wanted to cry (i didn't). anyway, before i left, she introduced me to her boss, mentioning that i would like to apply for an internship. the girl/woman said "well, we have a lot of people right now, but sige, send me your resume." and so i did, a couple of hours ago. (by the way, this whole expo thing happened last friday)

2. i got a P1000 gift certificate at informatics, where i planned to take something up, anyway. yay!

if anyone nga pala knows of a mountaineering club (not LM, kasi they have killer standards!), can you tell me? i would REALLY love to join...